putting the pain on some scientologists who dared challenge me...

On the movie review site, Rotten Tomatoes, I had the pleasure of baiting some of the Scientologists that they have constantly searching the net for negative things about Cruise and their church. They are notorious for using the sneaky tactics of the criminal organization that they are; I read somewhere that they have thousands of people doing this crap, just out there spreading lies and shit to make their religion look good, even as little by little the internet tears them apart by exposing their TOM-FOOLERY...

OKAY, SO below is a few of the scientology apologists and my responses to them. I got a kick out of them. Like I said, I had read about how the L. RONBOTS were combing the web for commets like this and basically declaring psychological war on whomever wrote them -- and sure enough, they.attack . . . .


FIRST L. ROBOT REBUTTAL to some mild dis of the impossible mission:


I arranged this one with my target in Itallics.


THIS ONE IS AS UNINTERESTING AS THE OTHERS, BUT HE RESORTED TO NAME CALLING, SO I RESPONDED IN KIND...I LOVE CALLING NAMES!!!

And make an effort to read me. You insulting moron! You piss me off you arrogant jerk.

GOOD!!! GLAD I COULD PISS YOU OFF... I MADE AN EFFORT TO READ YOU, BUT YOU MADE NO EFFORT TO LEARN TO WRITE, MAKING THIS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE... I am not arrogant, merely right... that really burns you're ignorant ***, huh? Thank you for resorting to name calling... and you NO MORE REPRESENT THE RICK ROSS INSTITUTE THAN I DO YOU!!!!! You have either never read this site, or you simply did noT understand a word you read. I am going with the latter.

You are obviously a scientologist yourself, or an apologist for them... look up the words I use and maybe, just maybe, you could get a glimmer of real thoughts perculating in your mind, instead of having to be told to go on the internet and PROTECT TOM SMOOZE.




Not surprising you are an intolerant jackass. Racist?


I am the most tolerant man in the world. Your religion is intolerant. oR YOU ARE SO DUM THAT YOU ARE AN APOLOGIST FOR A RELIGION YOU DESPISE, WHICH IS JUST SAD... YOU REALLY SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL WHAT WORDS SLOBBER OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. THOUGH TOLERANT, I RESPOND IN KIND... FORCE WITH FORCE.... Just like I would cut off the balls of anyone who tried to get my brothers in a cult, and you people kill, bully, sue, and act like an intelligence organization, when in fact you make an oxymporon of the phrase (again, ask someone smarter than you to tell you what I mean -- start with any stranger on the street, I am sure that will do.

No surprise you take people as stupid because they are strangers.

STEVEN HAWKINS IS A STRANGER TO ME... I don't think he is an idiot; jus tpeople like who, who can't even put together a sentence, let alone a thought. Your problem is that I am a big boy, so you can't really play with me, you see? No, I guesss you don't.


First for your knowledge, I know Rick Ross since 2001, I give his name everywhere on every boards and topics related to Tom and scientology, Imdb, fansite (which I have been ban because I talked scientology , who do you think you are talking too?You think fans are idiot? As a fan I know everything since a long time.

READING RICK ROSS IS EVIDENTLY QUITE DIFFERENT THEN UNDERSTANDING HIM. I DO NOT BELIEVE, BASED UPON ALL THE SUBTLE CULT REFERENCES IN HERE, THAT YOU ARE ANYTHING MORE THAN A SCIENTOLOGIST..WHICH MEANS THE DIARREAH IN YOUR CRANIUM IS SEEPING OUT OF YOUR EARS ONTO THIS PAGE.... EXPLAINS THE STENCH ON YOUR POSTS.



'It is not just because he jump on a couch that I'm NOW talking about him like you do.'

THIS SENTENCE MAKES NO SENSE... look up the word 'tense.' Oh, never mind, grammar will be way beyond you -- unfortunatlEy, it is one of the few indicators of an excellent, educated mind. Guess which one of us applies?



you are also very close minded, people are different, human beings is an inepuisable source.

OH, AND YOU USE THIS ONE.... 'inepiusable source.' This is a great word, 'IMEPISUSABLE'. Not a real word, but a cool sounding one.


That also doesn't surprise me Intolerance= not considering undertanding, searching on people willing to know. Just close minded.

ABOVE IS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE SENTENCES THAT COME OUT OF IDIOTS, NOT SMART FOLK LIKE ME. See, this is why everyone ignores you and throws sticks at you!!!

THANK YOU -- YOU REALLY MADE ME LAUGH TODAY!!!



Oh, I also go daily on Cultnews.net, I am on OCMB, Xenu.net etc.
I know. The difference is that I am a fan, I care, I love movies.


'You have nothing to talk about it here.' I LOVE YOUR IGNORANCE, IT MAKES YOU A TARGET BIGGER THAN A HOUSE!!!!



You have specifics sites, OCMB (like I go there to talk about this), Alt.religions.com, google groups...etc
Don't harrass the fans.

THIS LAST SENTENCE PRACTICALLY PROVES THIS PERSON IS AN APOLOGIST FOR THE SCIENTOLOGISTS, IF NOT AN OUTRIGHT MEMEBER... REMEMBER THEY HAVE THOUSANDS OF THEIR SLAVES CRUISING THE NET LOOKING FOR COMMENTS LIKE MINE, WHICH IS WHY WHENEVER I RESPOND, THEY IMMEDIATLY COME BACK... WE ARE TALKING WITHIN HOURS.. they say 'don't harrass the fans, though as long as they are out there, I will be out there!!!!

TOm did a great job by talking about scientology, PPD, sonogram, Psychiatry. Nobody cared before he pointed the finger on it.

LOOK AT THIS SENTENCE. THIS IS PROOF THIS PERSON IS ON CRACK.... I KNEW ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY, SONOGRAMS, AND PSYCHIATRY LONG BEFORE TOM CRUISE OPENED HIS MOUTH TO SHOW HE IS A GAPING WHORE OF IGNORANCE.

And Psychiatrists do know MORE THAN TOM SMOOZE. One studies science, and the other studies a cut-rate sci-FI WRITER.... Who you go with says a lot about your smarts. Sorry you missed out on those.









--------You have t o be a royal jerk to follow an actor statement instead of your doctor. Funny, when B Shirlds is said to influence people for takking Paxil, you say: "no, they ask their doctors first".-------


WILL YOU IDIOTS QUIT TRYING TO PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH. YOU ARE NEITHER GRAMMATICALLY, INTELLECTUALLY OR MORALLY QUALIFIED TO SPEAK FOR ME.... Now, you call people 'royal jerks' if they follow an actors words. Well, let's do something called DECONSTRUCTION. Big word scary huh? Well, it means that since we have dozens of entertainment shows, and magazines, that people like to read about celebrities. And children are the worst about this cult of personality stuff, and they are more easily influnced than most folk. The are not 'royal jerks' for following actors words. They are exactly the kind of vulnerable folk cults Love.

Hum, so Shields is not to be trust but Tom yes? but, Tom is only an actor? but, he is dangerous?
You are all confusing, that's hypocritical.


SOMEONE WHO WROTE THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH CALLED ME CONFUSING...I DON'T THINK I HAVE TO WRITE ANYTHING MORE.



Anyway, now thanks to Tom:
sonograms are forbidden (I can't wait he buy a gun...)

WHAT???? SONOGRAMS ARE NOT FORBIDDEN??? YOU REALLY, REALLY NEED TO GO BACK INTO YOUR 'SPECIAL CLASS' AND LEAVE THE TEACHERS COMPUTER ALONE!!!


scientology is reveal to wilde audience as dangerous
psychiatry abuses are know more and more,
their credibility is also more powerful now against the co$

THE ABOVE THREE LINES MIGHT MAKE A COOL BEAT POEM, BUT THEY ARE NOT ENGLISH, NOR ARE THE LEGIBLE... YOU REALLY ARE MAKING ME LAUGH THOUGH!!!



You should open a dialogue, speak calmly, listen, and listen.
I recommand you to read more on the subject,

SOMEONE WHO WRITES 'I recommand you to read more on the subject,' is telling me to read more on the subject.

ISN'T ALL THIS KIND OF SUSPICIOUS TO THE REGULAR PEOPLE READING THIS??? WHY ARE THEY ALL IN MY FACE, AND WITH THIS ONE, THE MOST INSIDIOUS OF ALL, THEY SAY THEY AGREE WITH ME..

THEN MAKES ALL THESE PRO TOM, PRO SCIENTOLOGY STATEMENTS, WHILE PRETENDING THEY KNOW ABOUT THESE DISEASES....

This is why it is important to know the source of your information. I went to university for twelve years and have four majors. It is on the record, and can be checked out by anyone who wishes to. This fool probably quit school to lick Tom Cruises' *** until it shines for four dollars an hour.

Last edited by johnnypain on 06-22-2006 at 09:12 AM.
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Yesterday, 09:30 AM
Post #22

johnnypain
Seedling
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Chicago, Rogers Park Hood
Posts: 11 I know more than you on every subject...



YOU SURE AS HELL DON'T KNOW MORE ABOUT ME ON GRAMMAR, PUTTING TOGETHER A COHESIVE ARGUEMENT, DEBATE, SPELLING, OR FOR THAT MATTER, ANYTHING YOU HAVE MENTIONED IN YOUR Little Baby Ranting. . . Any readers over like four are going to get that, unless their brain has been too WASHED TO GET ANYTHING THEIR LEADERS DON'T SHOVE UP THEIR ARSES.... I would debate you on anything and win, but you are probably too delusional to realize as much. TO OTHER PEOPLE READING THIS I SAY, DOESN'T HIS USE OF 'I know more than you on every subject..." REEK OF TOM CRUISE TELLING A REPORTER HE 'knows more about psychiatry?"


NOW WATCH THIS FOLKS, ON THE NEXT ONE THIS BOOF STARTS ACCUSING ME OF BEING A SCIENTOLOGISTS... WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, AND YOU HAVE BEEN PROVEN AN IDIOT... PRETEND THE PERSON WHO PROVED YOU ARE AN IDIOT IS AN IDIOT INSTEAD...OH WELL...





BELOW ARE THE LAST FEW I GOT, WHICH I HAVE NOT HAD TIME TO FORMAT INTO THIS ENTRY.. . and perhaps I never will?


Last edited by johnnypain on 06-23-2006 at 08:46 AM.
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Today, 04:30 AM
Post #23

It.
Growing Member
--------------------------------



Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 196 WOW LOOK LIKE THE LITTLE SCIENTOLOGIST HERE IS SCREAMING AT ME AGAIN

ARE YOU THE SCIENO WHO ACCUSE TOM FANS NOT FAN OF SCIENTOLOGY TO BE SCIENTOLOGIST?

You are totally ****ed up

I didn't read you here, of course, because since I read you say 'I am ' a scientologist, I quit, also, I am bore to read, and since I am bad in englsih, it don't worth it. But overall, i don't bother to respond to scieno anymore.

You are the scientologist who ban me from Sitefan because I didn't agree with it, funny this is the same Capitals letters you use? ha ha I got you, stalk me man, not scare! I told everyone on OMCB what to do: ignore.

I am famous on Operation Clambake message board, idiot; I am the french who is attack for being a fan, and threaten by ppl like you on movies boards like here because I want to be free.
But that you don't know
how funny the Tom haters and scieno are altogether now.
You both harrass me, I don't care, ban me, sue me, I am french and free. you think you can harrass me like that? I know everyone and J Swift can tell you I am not a scientologist, so don't try to make people beleive fans of Cruise HAS to be scientologist! you are an intolerant jackass and you live in a cult, threatening fan is bad.

I fought against co$ by e mail, I am not scare! I wonder if it's you since I have stalker everywhere.

that's right! go ahead and sue me idiot! Go to hell anyway close minded jerk! fans will never be scientologist! face it moron
Bye bye!

(notice I don't use capital letters, it make you scream; not surprising for a scieno )

__________________
"I will take, what is mine" - Frank TJ Mackey
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Today, 08:40 AM
Stop Putting Words In My Mouth Post #24

johnnypain
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Chicago, Rogers Park Hood
Posts: 11 [QUOTE=It.]WOW LOOK LIKE THE LITTLE SCIENTOLOGIST HERE IS SCREAMING AT ME AGAIN

ARE YOU THE SCIENO WHO ACCUSE TOM FANS NOT FAN OF SCIENTOLOGY TO BE SCIENTOLOGIST?

(notice I don't use capital letters, it make you scream; not surprising for a scieno

Frank, you cannot have it both ways... criticise me for capital letters as screaming, and then scream like this on all your posts... are there more than one of you perhaps? i love psychiatry by the way.

Now this guy is accusing me of being a scientologist? They sure use some weird tactics to try to stop critics of scientologists... http://theelvesattic.ebloggy.com I used a bunch of your emails, by the way, on my site... and I am going to use them in my show tonight to show what an idiot you people are.... go away frank (whoever you are) and quit trying to play with the thinking boys -- you lose that ability when you turn your thinking over to a cult.

I am famous on Operation Clambake message board, idiot;

OH, SORRY THERE FRANK, HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE FAMOUS.... ON WHAT IS IT.. OPERATION HAMBAKE... No, that is what I did to you -- a hambake.... I don't suppose you get that, either... THAT MAKES ME LIKE YOU HOW MUCH??? BEING FAMOUS DOES NOT IMPRESS ME, LET ALONE ON A WEBSITE. I just did a search of your name, and found you to be the character in Magnolia... I have found a lot of clues in here that you are a sceintologist -- glad I missed the name, because that movie was not memorible, either, and I would hate to have it taking up valuable space in my memory.... but I am glad that I could show my readers how ignorant you people are.

Last edited by johnnypain on 06-23-2006 at 09:39 AM.
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Today, 09:34 AM
Post #25

johnnypain
Seedling
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Chicago, Rogers Park Hood
Posts: 11
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally Posted by johnnypain
[QUOTE=It.]WOW LOOK LIKE THE LITTLE SCIENTOLOGIST HERE IS SCREAMING AT ME AGAIN

ARE YOU THE SCIENO WHO ACCUSE TOM FANS NOT FAN OF SCIENTOLOGY TO BE SCIENTOLOGIST?

(notice I don't use capital letters, it make you scream; not surprising for a scieno

Frank, you cannot have it both ways... criticise me for capital letters as screaming, and then scream like this on all your posts... are there more than one of you perhaps? i love psychiatry by the way.

Now this guy is accusing me of being a scientologist? They sure use some weird tactics to try to stop critics of scientologists... http://theelvesattic.ebloggy.com I used a bunch of your emails, by the way, on my site... and I am going to use them in my show tonight to show what an idiot you people are.... go away frank (whoever you are) and quit trying to play with the thinking boys -- you lose that ability when you turn your thinking over to a cult.

I am famous on Operation Clambake message board, idiot;

OH, SORRY THERE FRANK, HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE FAMOUS.... ON WHAT IS IT.. OPERATION HAMBAKE... THAT MAKES ME LIKE YOU HOW MUCH??? BEING FAMOUS DOES NOT IMPRESS ME, LET ALONE ON A WEBSITE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just noticed this guy has the same name as the character in Magnolia.. now what does that tell you about their affiliation?????








"First of all why is anyone judging a movie based on an actors personal life? Yes, he's weird, but he's one of the few actors who actually make it a point to learn everyone’s name and talk to the crew.
Second of all the movie definitely didn't suck. I find it interesting that you didn't list any reasons why you didn't like it. It's probably because Cruise is a scientologist, and you didn't like the way he acted on Oprah. Let's be quite honest though the real star here was JJ Abrams. He did a fantastic job of making this Mission Impossible his own. He increased the depth of Cruise's character, and made the movie about more than just action."



COMMENT: Note how this person put the movies website in her comment, giving away the jerk who throws meat in her cage.. a l ron bot..







JOHNNY PAIN: Tom Cruise can't buy my opinion -- he's a stupid yokel being a abused by a cult, and his extreme ego can't face that he has wasted his life and money on a stupid fever dream by a less than mediocre, pulp trash writer.








L. RONBOT: : all of you are jealous of his looks, wealth, popularity and the fact that he's boning katie holmes right now







JOHNNY PAIN : I am not jelous or hateful toward other men who are good looking and rich and boning Katy Holmes; he is the victim of a brain washing scheme, and I think this makes people want to say something. Like I always tell my readers, when on the topic of despising religions -- one hates the disease, not the poor person.. . but since Cruise is so rich that he can arrogantly shove his mind-mess on other people, the saner public have begun to resent him, and rightly so. When he ensconsced his new bride in the cult, this young lass from Toledo, Ohio, the world resented his behavior even more... and. . . rightly . . . so....

BRAIN WASHED BAMBOOLEZERS WROTE:
"You're making a joke of yourself , cruise is fine, great artist.
Go away stay, on your blog. Everyone knows since a long time, you're just a kid who learn (the ronbot's mistake, not mine)something and try to impress ppl. LOL try again." THIS CHARACTER HERE USES THE SAME NAME A CRUISE'S CHARACTERI NMAGNOLIA... YET CLAIMS NOT TO BE ASSOCIATED.

JOHNNY PAIN: I am just, as you write, 'a kid who learn something.' Well, I am not trying to impress anyone, little brained one. I don't have to try. And I am 44 years old... grey bearded... I am just an obscure, ****ing writer, one who is educated all to hell, and I can't help it if you think that I am trying to impress you with my attempts to communicate some of the grand and eloquent ideas that I learned in obscure philosophy classes, or whereever (including my fifteen years of cab driving). I also like to write incredibly gross stuff about fools who lead the young and impressionable into CULTS.... Like Tom Cruise, who crossed a line, went from actor to a criminal, when he started making Scientology's brain washing part of his celebrity patter. People like this are the antethesis of what I believe to be the true leaders in our society, and what good is a writer if we don't fight the forces of pseudo-evil in this world???


COMMENT::::They knew about my blog because I mentioned it on the site as a destination for more Cruise bashing... and they thought I was a kid, also indicating they do not know me. This is probably a stock line. You know they are sitting there, looking for comments of any kind that relate to scientology, l ronbots, cruise and travolta and all of their semi-deity's, with a little script to read, like a telemarketer. What I am writing here is all documented quite well by THE RICK ROSS INSTITUTE. Google them up for all the cult news you could ever want.. enough to drive you as crazy as moi... make you want to strike back against these mental predators who take the most precious thing one has, our self; they replace who we were everybit as much as the Invasion Of The Body Snatcher. I have interviewed a lot of ex-cult members, and have a family member who is active in one.. and took numerous classes on the topic. I write these kind of statements not to brag, but because some people like to know the level of credibility that they can grant a writer... people like me.


L. RON BOT: Originally Posted by It.
you are not serious, saying Cruise is a criminal is saying everyone iseveryone beleive everyone make mistake next you're gonna say: "All the Christians are criminals of pedophilia because of the priests At least, Tom is moving his *** for his cause (as much not scientific it is), he cares for kids, see it at the HELP center. Yet If you really care about evil forces, nastiness, and bad people, you would talk about D Miscavige, the scieno *******.But you don't so you have no relevance to me. Just a gossip tabloids sheep.I move on.


JOHNNY PAIN: Please do not put words in my mouth -- especially your illiterate attempts at communication. Tom Cruise is not helping people, he is hurting people. Read up on the deaths due to Scientologists' crazy hatred of medication -- or how L Ron Hubbard, founder of this TOM FOOLERY, had anti-depressents in his system when he died. Various religions throughout time have tried to say don't go to doctors, and this was almost sound advice a couple hundred years ago. Now, people who are not brainwashed, know that they can go to psychiatrists and be treated by the highest experts on the mind that the medical community can produce -- very highly educated individuals.

As far as your extrapolations about my use of the word criminal? Scientologists are scamming people out of money. They promise super powers that no one will ever get. This is why some countries prosecuted them, okay? They are all about selling people packages that actually do little more than brain wash them into wanting more packages. This is criminal to me, and I think they should be prosecuted.

John Revoltya and Tom Smooze suck!!!!

As far as your extrapolations about my use of the word criminal? Scientologists are scamming people out of money. They promise super powers that no one will ever get. This is why some countries prosecuted them, okay? They are all about selling people packages that actually do little more than brain wash them into wanting more packages. This is criminal to me, and I think they should be prosecuted.

Man, dealing with all these deluded pricks really makes me want to do some damage to their illusion.

copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

this is a conversation from rotten tomatoes

Quote:



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Originally Posted by hunjeebakala
all of you are jealous of his looks, wealth, popularity and the fact that he's boning katie holmes right now.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------













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06-07-2006, 02:43 PM


















Post #11







johnnypain
Seedling
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Chicago, Rogers Park Hood
Posts: 5






I am not jelous or hateful toward other men who are good looking and rich and boning Katy Holmes; he is the victim of a brain washing scheme, and I think this makes people want to say something. Like I always tell my readers, when on the topic of despising religions -- one hates the disease, not the poor person.. . but since Cruise is so rich that he can arrogantly shove his mind-mess on other people, the saner public have begun to resent him, and rightly so. When he ensconsced his new bride in the cult, this young lass from Toledo, Ohio, the world resented his behavior even more... and. . . rightly . . . so....





Last edited by johnnypain on 06-07-2006 at 02:45 PM.




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06-09-2006, 02:25 PM





















Post #12







Robbys83
Growing Member
--------------------------------

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 176











Quote:



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Originally Posted by johnnypain
I am not jelous or hateful toward other men who are good looking and rich and boning Katy Holmes; he is the victim of a brain washing scheme, and I think this makes people want to say something. Like I always tell my readers, when on the topic of despising religions -- one hates the disease, not the poor person.. . but since Cruise is so rich that he can arrogantly shove his mind-mess on other people, the saner public have begun to resent him, and rightly so. When he ensconsced his new bride in the cult, this young lass from Toledo, Ohio, the world resented his behavior even more... and. . . rightly . . . so....



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




HERE HERE!








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06-09-2006, 03:07 PM















Where??? Oh, yea there...


Post #13







johnnypain
Seedling
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Chicago, Rogers Park Hood
Posts: 5






I write a lot of mean things about cults, and cruise, on my blog... should anyone want to see that dead horse get punched a few more times.... http://theelvesattic.ebloggy.com






Quote:



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Originally Posted by Robbys83
HERE HERE!



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Today, 09:52 AM


















Post #14







It.
Growing Member
--------------------------------



Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 192











Quote:



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Originally Posted by johnnypain
I write a lot of mean things about cults, and cruise, on my blog... should anyone want to see that dead horse get punched a few more times.... http://theelvesattic.ebloggy.com



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




You're making a joke of yourself , cruise is fine, great artist

Go away stay, on your blog. Everyone knows since a long time, you're just a kid who learn something and try to impress ppl. LOL try again








__________________
"I will take, what is mine" - Frank TJ Mackey




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Today, 10:40 AM















'a kid who learn something...' Yeah, right, little brain.


Post #15







johnnypain
Seedling
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Chicago, Rogers Park Hood
Posts: 5











Quote:



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Originally Posted by It.
You're making a joke of yourself , cruise is fine, great artist

Go away stay, on your blog. Everyone knows since a long time, you're just a kid who learn something and try to impress ppl. LOL try again



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------





I am just, as you write, 'a kid who learn something.' Well, I am not trying to impress anyone, little brained one. I don't have to try. And I am 44 years old... grey bearded... I am just an obscure, ****ing writer, one who is educated all to hell, and I can't help it if you think that I am trying to impress you with my attempts to communicate some of the grand and eloquent ideas that I learned in obscure philosophy classes, or whereever (including my fifteen years of cab driving). I also like to write incredibly gross stuff about fools who lead the young and impressionable into CULTS.... Like Tom Cruise, who crossed a line, went from actor to a criminal, when he started making Scientology's brain washing part of his celebrity patter. People like this are the antethesis of what I believe to be the true leaders in our society, and what good is a writer if we don't fight the forces of pseudo-evil in this world???




copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

I ALSO WRITE ON EBLOGGY A LOT

I usually write everything in my other blog and then transfer the better stuff here. I forget to do this sometimes... but generally I am careful to back everything up... I have not been able to get into that blog today, which is irritatingbecause massah jack off your son is back in the news, and I plan on ripping on him in my show tommorrow. This is going to be my first show in almost a year. The response I am getting is really great. A lot of people are coming, and they are the cool ones... we will definatly come back here afterwards and exchange herbal remedies. I of course have a bit of anxiety about it, but I am also excited.

I was one of those people who kind of liked taking tests in college, because I got keyed up -- they say elevated anxiety,but not too elevated, is the best state of mind to take a test in; luckily that came naturally to me. I have a lot serial killer stuff that I am going to read tommorrow. None of this shit has been read in public and some of it is harsh... picture it as American Psycho meets the Three Stooges in a John Waters movie, and you kind of have what I am going to be reading.

Had a hell of a week on a personal note. My spine, which is all screwed up and needs surgery after surgery just to maintain -- 24/7 pain with no hope of it ever stopping/ drives me into all sorts of crises, but mostly I just stay on the medication they give me and I am fine. Well, they sent my pills to the wrong address, and I ran out... first I just cut myself way down... luckily, I had some valium that I used to take, but I was still curled up on the couch unable to do anything because of the pain. Such a drama this was. After dozens of phone calls and what not, my buddy had to drive me all the way down south to 1`59th and cicero; lucky he knew the area, because I was just plain out lost. They gave me the pills and I swallowed enough to make the pain go away... Jessie rolled a joint as we drove home from the hostpital. I had a few more pills by the time, which I was forced to get at an emergency ward because these are not drugs you just stop taking... so after taking a few more, the ride home became nicer and nicer... Jessie put in Star Wars and we listened to the rising and falling crescendos and just in general grooved on the music.

The day I ran out of the pills and had to just lay in bed all day -- actually this went on for two days, drove me nuts. I could deal with the pain, as long as I didn't do anything to make it worse. And almost anything causes me pain, because my veterbrae are smashed down to about half the normal size on either side of the fused bones. I flirted with the thought of suicide, but I like being alive sometimes and I just plain out would not hurt the people I love that way... but still, sometimes I think, as the pain gets worse and worse (as it is diagnosed to do, because what they do is wait until the last possible moment to fuse the vertebras because I lose movement everytime, so I basically have to suffer through it breaking into shards that hit my nerves until I can no longer bear it). Does this health stuff bore the hell out of you?

Listen, I know I could have it a lot worse. The chronic pain has given me a disability that allows me to write fiction full time, and oil paint. This is what I wanted all those years I sold shit, drove cab, cooked, went to school... I got it like some bargain with the devil where I traded my spine to be a writer.

My new shows start Friday... I can't wait. We are going to party well. Hope you can come...


I went to the hospital, because I had to go to an emergency ward

copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

from salon... more shit on how massahjackoffyourson tries to molest everything he touches....

Morning Briefing:
Michael Jackson redefines charity: During a deposition for his upcoming trial for the lawsuit brought against him by former associate Marc Schaffel, Michael Jackson revealed that his idea of recording a "charity single" doesn't extend to actually donating the royalties from the song. Paraphrasing from the deposition transcript, Fox 411 reports Jackson as saying: "I don't know songwriters who give their royalties to charity. To give the royalty rights, that's a lot of money to give away." If his 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina singles had ever been released, he would have retained the songwriting credit, just as he did for "We Are the World," for which he still receives royalties. Lest you think his broad definition of charity is actually part of some sort of savvy plan on Jackson's part, the gossip site also notes that during the trial, "according to accounts, he didn't know the meaning of the word 'savvy,' and asked to have it rephrased during questioning." (Fox 411



copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

test

copywrite 2sre006 john scott ridgway

THE LAOTIAN TERD MOUSE

Of course we all remember this little nursery rhyme from when we were children:

"Mother says that if you're bad,
a Laotian Terd Mouse will eat your nads,

and while I never thought this was true
I was bad once and now I am blue."


For some reason I found myself humming this thing this morning and now cannot get it out of my head. I've tried squirting battery acid in my ear with a turkey baster, which seemed to be working until the baster melted. I don't know what else to do, beyond maybe breaking into the neighbors apartment and stealing some of her panties to wear???

I have been practically bowled over by questions about the elusive Laotian Terd Mouse. This is natural, since I am one of the few Big Game Hunters who have tried to kill and mount a Laotian Terd Mouse. By mount, I mean on a plaque on the wall, but of course as in the traditional Laotian Terd Mouse Hunt, I will also employ other uses of 'mounting' after a successful kill.

My detractors are already claiming that I am making up the Laotian Terd Mouse, like M., who won't listen anymore when I tell her all the shit these Laotian Terd Mice are pulling around the apt. -- and you can just guess who got the shit when M. found their stack of vegetable related pornography.


You must be wondering how they could be so all powerful to get through the defenses here in the Elf's Attic? I mean, we have a cat and a husky who will eat any rodent they can, with a special emphasis on my military hamster endeavors, unfortunatly for all good people of this earth... but none-the-less, they cannot seem to keep these Laotian Terd Mice out of the apartment.

You got to be pretty tough to deal with these Mice. I am not sure that I am up to it.... if only the Hamster Army was back up to snuff after that week when I decided to save money on pet food.... I can only hope, for the sake of this whole damned world, that I can fight them off before their nefarious Laotian Terd Mouse Conspiracy can enslave us all in god-riddled cheese factories. I've heard that they are already hiring hollywood stars to get recruits for the cults that they'll use to vote their way to the top of the world's democracies... it's enough to drive good men out into the fields with their guns....
copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

WOMAN HITS BREEDER WITH DEAD CHIHUAHUA!!!

--A DEADLY WEAPON??? YES, I SEE IT NOW....


The pup was this tiny!!! Yet, what a weapon!!! I want a dead chihuahua!! I will not feel safe until I am armed with a dead chihuahua!!!!









From The Associated Press: ST. PETERS, Mo. -- A woman angry that her new puppy had died pushed her way into a dog breeder's home and repeatedly hit her on the head with the dead Chihuahua, authorities said.

The 33-year-old woman told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy, it died.

Early Wednesday, the woman went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.

The breeder wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, citing police.

As the woman drove away, she waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof and yelled threats at the breeder, police said. She later called the breeder and threatened her and her family, according to court records.

Police said they are considering felony burglary charges and misdemeanor assault charges.


WHAT DID THIS WOMAN THREATEN THE BREEDER WITH??? ASSAULT WITH A DEAD KITTEN, MAYBE???


Who cares about the dog breeder, I want justice for that poor little puppy!!! I am probably going to have to take a train down south and take out everyone associated with this story. Before I can go, I have to clean the christian off my knives... it's always something, isn't it?
--------------

Just want to add, after walking the dog down to a cold, windswept shores of Lake Mitch., that there is a country song in this story... Maybe even a novel? Perhaps an encyclopedia? But that is not for the here and now... no, a country song suits my wake and bake (point of fact, songs just pop into my head a lot, and I used to write them down, but they were invariably a sort of bad, rhyming poetry)...

so the song goes...

"SHE HIT ME WITH A DEAD CHEW-WOW-WOW
KNOCKED THE GLASS FROM MY HAND
TOOK A TRAIN TO MEMPHIS
AND MARRIED A GUY NAMED STAN"

I'm not going to write all of it down... suffice to say, from here the song just goes on to tell a brilliant, gritty story of good and evil, peace and war, cat and mouse, dog and squash... that builds to an exicting crescendo unmatched in popular music today.

copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

OKAY, SINCE YOU DIDN'T ASK...

How, you wonder, is Johnny Pain going to try to advance his writing career this year?

This puzzles me too. One of the few writers I know and respect, has given up the trade to start an arts center, after trying for ten years and writing a bunch of basically unedited books... he gained a huge audience, but not the kind of money that it takes to have a decent life. He used to go for days without eating to keep up his work and habits... I have sacrificed everything to be an artist, myself. I have offered up my life to this stupid altar time and again... and all my prayers have fallen on basically stone deaf ears.


When I was younger, and prone toward the kind of mystical thinking that got me in so much trouble in so many ways, I expected wealth and fortune to be delivered like a fucking pizzas. If it were that easy, a hundred thousand better writers than me would all be famous, instead of frustratedly making their way through their work day wondering just when all the meaning seeped out of their lives...

People make decisions based on the market, when they would be much better off making their decisions from their hearts. Problem is, their heart lies to them so much that they don't trust the 'drunken chimp' part of their psych. I made this decision to be a writer purely from my heart. Deep inside of me was a feeling, imbedded by a childhood steeped in books (I finished the grammar school library in fifth grade, so they let me into the high school library and man was that the shits to me, back then...), that there was something magical about the people who write down words. They seemed like the prophets to me. Especially since I lived in a deep shadow of the sixties philosophies of rebellion.

The sixties decimation of all that came before, personified in a distrust of all authority, brought me up basically believing in nothing. Government was something that had wars and took out taxes. Religion was a joke.

I needed some words to live by. You don't have words to live by, you die; you just lay in that bed, trapped by the very molecules in the room, still and quiet, deathly afraid of making a move that might be your last... I remembered this, this morning, watching Angel, my all time favorite show ever, and Angel gets this ring that lets him walk in daylight... he comes out from under a pier, into the first sunshine he has felt in over a hundred years... the acting is excellent. David Boreanz shows such joy and revelation and peace in the simple. Sunshine is enough for him. Struck me how good this scene made me feel, how for a moment I was apreciating sunlight... like Warhol showing the world soup cans that testify to the beauty of the everyday. THen it came to me that this is the kind of moment that I need to stock in my mind, to pull out when I need a burst of faith.

Faith. I don't like the word. Wreaks of pipe dreams and jim jones. Still, we need it. There are too many germs in this room for me not to take on faith that I can survive them. But I have to make the movements that set the ball rolling, cause the momentum to make my career meaningful in some way, to someone.

To do any of this, I have to get more books out... and this is driving me crazy!!! The blog feels so natural to me that I feel uniquely suited to be a hit in this medium; and I have had way over a hundred thousand hits, which is good enough for me, and it is always growing.

So maybe this medium will end up being the primary repository of what people settle on as my 'best work.' Certainly I am not going to be remember for my play, tv shit, poetry... but, this thing will last, and books will last. Why is this important? The ideas I studied in college have to be confronted by the voting masses, sooner or later, or we are going to find religous faith is no match for the greenhouse effect.

Religion, and taking leaps of faith to a state of mind where all is right under the eye of god (which is the psychic pay off of prayer, often enough, because it feels 'right'), leads to mystical thinking in all aspects of ones life, just as a scientific education changes ones thinking on all aspects of life.

People are brainwashed by their parents, the tv, movies... everywhere they pretend there is a god. Everywhere they are told to put their faith in a made up character???? We read comic books for this when we are kids, to see good and evil all black and white and free of the ambiguities that come with the adult perspective on life.... the people who are doing this to others are my enemies. Period. They would shoot me down for all sorts of things I have done and I have no time for their stupidity. That is why the words are important.... I want the world to be a better place if for no other reason than to keep the other animals alive.

So, I was trying to get to my next big move... which is going to be little movies and comics. We are getting a video camera of some sort at the end of the month. I have made dozens of little films, and have a pretty good idea of how things come off on camera... lots of characters I can play, tons of voices, and a lot of unmined comedy material from this blog. The first one we are going to do will involve hamster armies, and I do have some pretty cool mechanical hamsters (ever since I wrote about them, they have become my 'official animal' to M., who will use any excuse to buy a toy). I am actually going to tell the whole johnny pain tale, taken from the blog totally.

There is also an entry in here where I pretend like I am being interviewed. I am going to do some stuff with this. I also like reading my stories while showing different works of art that add and shade the meaning of the story. I made a few cool ones in the past but have since lost them all. I never had any way to show this shit to people, and thus never really developed the work into the kind of professional shit it would take for me to invest my time. Now, the web is about to change all that.

I am going to be using puppets, myself, the neighborhood dogs, and my cat as the primary characters. We'll kill and interact and start fires and just generally cause mayhem as we try to protect the apartment from The Laotian Terd Mouse Conspiracy, or some such thing...

Then there comes the play... I have been wanting to do something with this -- which is where the penguin prose in here about them spinning in circles screaming, Oh the shits with you!! is from. THere are all these video sequences that I wrote for the play that were too complex for me to just hand it off to some small playhouse and expect them to be interested... however, I wrote the video as shit I could easily shoot with a few stuffed animals and shots at the Lincoln Park Zoo. I only need like five actors for the play. There is basically nothing needed on stage beyond a table and a tv. I was careful to keep the production to a minumum, to aide the damn thing in getting done.


Of course the other thing, however minor, are the literary readings I am going to start next week. I am calling the thing this and that to get various types of acts to come in for my amusement, but in my mind it is just going to be a reading.
I designed the poster this week -- it has some pretty funny cartoons on it.

Animation is another direction I would love to go in, of course... my over the top shit kind of suits itself to cartoons, and god knows I watch all of them -- especially family guy, invader zim, and king of the hill.

So what will I do???? Probably just keep sniveling in here until I die, like the guy in Henry James The Beast In The Jungle, knowing I missed too much because of my obsession???? That is up to you, I guess... though more to me.

So what should I do cruel world? Is my contribution here on this blog nothing or something? Don't answer that.
The other videos I am planning on doing are more low key, just shots of the readings, intercut with other images to make the visuals more appealing... watching people read usually sucks, and when it doesn't it has more to do with the acting than the words half the time.

I could really use a couple ambitious cinematography types to help me with this shit. I get some money, and a production company is going to fly out of my fingers. If I could hire a few people, I could teach them a thing or two about writing and directing and improv, though I would hardly consider this a position that is going to lead to fame and riches... though I would certainly share in any wealth that comes along. These videos are going to be shown all over the world, to hundreds of thousands of people. Small films usually don't get the kind of exposure this blog already has. The thing to do is parlay whatever interest the market -- you people -- have in me into channels that actually make me a few bucks. Like getting a book published, or selling movie rights...

Oh, well.... l have to go to a state office today and try to muddle my way through some paperwork concerning my disability, which I loath doing, and have thus sat here jabbering away all this time with this little nervous troll on the edge of my thinking.... he is commanding me to leave now...

Have a day.



copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

GOING DOOR TO DOOR FOR ATHEISM!!!

Today, bored and kind of coffee-d up, I decided to start going door to door around the neighborhood spreading the word of Atheism... (I was ready to consider even a staunce agnosticism in a pinch, at least when I was dealing with the weak and fearful).

I put together a little pamplet, titled, CONVERT NOW OR DIE. I figured this would get people's attention, as well as make clear why I was so heavily armed. Put on a suit coat and a black t shirt reading I FUCKED YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ASS AND USED HER DIARREAH FOR LUBRICANT, some sloppy loose jeans that would allow for deadly use of my flying feet, and went out to save a little bit of the world.

The first apartments I went to were my neighbors, since I had glimpsed a cross in their kitchen one day and knew they needed some help. "Hello???" I screamed at their door as I knocked loud and hard, rapping like a cop, "get your jew-on-a-stick religion out here where I can stomp on that shit."

They wouldn't answer the door. I found this odd, but then it seemed to happen over and over. I think people were looking through their peep hole and seeing my guns. I hide them better at the next apartment, and sure enough, someone opens the door with their chain on, pushing her nose out, an elderly woman asks me, "What do you want?"
"Mam, do you know god?"
"No, why does he owe you money?" Her answer comes quick and is followed by a smirk.
"NO, no... I'm here to kill the gods, actually. Any of them. You have one in there?"
"What? With my fixed income, you think I could afford to keep a god in here? The food bill alone would wipe out my stamps."

I thanked the woman and continued on... throughout the rest of the day, I found a few more christians. All were quick to repent once I had the barrel of an M-!6 jammed up their asses. Got to clean that gun tonight.

Anyways, I am going to try to go to everyone's house in the whole world over the course of the next few years, until I am sure that everyone has heard the non-word.


Will I succeed? No, no... but at least I will be able to look myself in the eye and know I tried. Though M. thinks that just because I 'tried' to do something, that I have actually done nothing. We had a big fight about this, after she asked me about the garbage and I told her that I have been trying to get myself to take out the garbage, and how that effort alone had tired me out too much to get to the other parts of the task. Somehow, no matter how well I explained this to M., she kept saying shit like, "You mean you did nothing, right?"

SO JUST KNOW, NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU KNOW GOD . . . that they just might be heavily armed atheists and your answer could well determine whether or not you are going to get a shotgun enema!!!!!


copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

THE ELVES ATTIC LIVE LIVES... NEW SHOW STARTING JUNE 16TH AT ENNUI cafe

Ennui Cafe... what a great name.... maybe I should change the name of the reading to the ennui monster -- which I take from an old National Lampoon Cartoon that I used to keep framed on my wall.
BELOW IS THE TEXT FROM THE AD FOR THE CHICAGO READER...


Map: Sheridan at Lunt, 60626
THE ELVES ATTIC REVUE AND OPEN MIKE
posted 05/31/2006
Wide open Mic and the caustic comedy of novelist John Scott Ridgway and Guests. Ennui Cafe, 7000 Sheridan, Fridays at 8:30. For further info. call Scott 773-973-5095. Always free and artist friendly. Web broadcasts and dvd's of shows available at http://theelvesattic.ebloggy.com





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How low will we go?









copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

PENGUINS TAKEN IN RAPTURE...DESPONDENT HUMANS LEFT BEHIND!!!!!

PENGUINS TAKEN IN RAPTURE...DESPONDENT HUMANS LEFT BEHIND!!!!!Seemingly only penguins were taken up into the heavens this morning when a supreme deity finally kept its promise to save the worthy from the hell of the world.

As the deity scooped up the penguins in his hands, thousands of screaming human voices were raised to protest the supreme deity's decision, representing every type of whining known to man. The deity shushed the humans, then pointed at the amusing antics of various penguins who were doing an elaborate ice-scapade version of a tale that they explained, in a short introduction, was too complex for human understanding. . .




Before leaving, the deity told the humans,"Hey, ectoplasm, get over yourself. I didn't even try to make another species that comes close to a penguin. Let alone, Man... Yea, right -- come on, you don't even really believe that, do you? Every dog you have ever met is a better being than you. . . I mean, name a dog that isn't a better being than you? ... Let alone a penguin -- they're fucking nature's clowns, man! You put your robin williams and conans on stage with an emporer penguin, not only will it kick their asses, it will make you laugh harder than you ever have before in your life while it does so. You are a component in an echosphere, and if anything, you should be punished, if not just weeded out. You're probably very lucky that I don't bother thinking about you very much."

After finding out their species is well down on the animal totem pole that god uses to judge specks of the echosphere, humans around the world were reported to be, 'thinking about other stuff,' and 'keeping busy.'







NOTE FROM JOHNNY PAIN: Well, I'd say YOU HUMANS have a bit of egg on the old face, today, huh? I am so glad I married into another species, marsupial. I mean, we might go after dogs or something, but man? Like the deity said when asked about when the humans would go, "Not on my fucking watch, that is for sure."








copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

TAKE A FUCKING BATH

TAKE A FUCKING BATH!!!!
home
by jsr

12/05/06
21:09
The stench of this city often leads to blood baths, okay? This has gotten much worse since I quit smoking a few months ago. It was okay during the winter, when the frozen puddles of urine around the el train provided merely a fun way to slide down the sidewalk for a few feet, but then the air warms and the microbes start breeding and then flying off into the air and lodging in my nostrils... like tiny fart bombs exploding in my nose.

The dog has to go out the alleyway entrance, too... leading to our passing various dumpsters, which thrills her bouncy little ass all to hell and makes me feel like killing before we even get around the usual assholes I have to snuff to have a peaceful walk in this neighborhood.

So today I had to go to the doctor. . . One starts at UIC by going to register, where you make your co-payment before they see you. . . this involves a wait. I walk into this room filled with fat mommas staring blankly off as their kids run around the room screaming, a couple old people looking slightly terrified, and a SMELL . . . BO. The worst. You smell bo from every fucking portion of a persons body and smelling the grunge from between the large flaps of fat on these cows who were in there with me was just TOO FUCKING MUCH!!!

I tried to be nice, though, since I need to get to see the doctor to get the drugs that help keep me stay crazy enough to keep up to the high standards of serial and spree killing that have become synonomous with the name of Pain. So first I just said, "One of you cows stinks so fucking bad that I am going to piss on you, which will be a fucking improvement!!!"

They all just looked at me for a blank second, then went back to whatever the hell they were doing before I stood up and started screaming. This just made me madder so I grabbed the first kid I saw and snapped his neck. The loud cracking of his neck brought silence to the room. "I did that," I told them, "so his spincter would release, because even shit smells better than you fucking wenches!!!"

I didn't really give them time to say much else or react, just threw the kid at the nearest window (he bounced off -- damn the safety glass in skyscrapers!!), pulled the uzis out and started mowing them down.... satisfying screams were hardly enough for me to spend anymore time in that room, though...

I saved one guy alive, handed him an empty uzi, then shot him in the head.

The campus cops showed up about then. I pointed at the black guy that had the uzi still clutched in his hand and told them, "Murder suicide. A sad tale. I just missed seeing it. Have a good day officers."

So, kids, take this as a freindly reminder that proper hygeine is very important!!!!







copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

painting her

from cold space we emerge
come here seeking passion


today

we conjour



notice her: high cheek bones and seductive ways

in the moonlight
her grey sweater glows
as her breasts rise and fall
with her quickening
breath

black pants white socks
shiny high healed black shoes
that gleam in the dark



we tear out the predators teeth
& render the rest absurd







copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

well, they put my elves attic back up.. but it is frozen..

This means that I cannot add anything to the Elf anymore. Effectively, they have shut me down. I am happy that they did not erase my site, like I feared that they have. I tried a zillion different combinations of the names I use in the blog, and none were compatible with my email address. This is too weird for a weedy head like mine. I am definatly going to be writtig here on Blogspot from now on...







copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

EXPLODING STARS

when the rich and famous
let their hands grow traitorous
they begin to shine like beacons
spewing blackness into the light of day


Hemingway sat in bars
picked fights to feel something real and pure again
through the fog of his drunken mania

Hunter wandered around in the snow
in his bathrobe
firing his shotgun off
into the snowy hills over Denver

maybe they expected everyone
to learn the lessons of their novels
and act accordingly?
come around
wake up
become
all those writer's dreamt of humans ?


Suppose they felt like nothing much matters in the end?

Though the ones left crying at their funerals
stranded here to do the hard work of living
would surely disagree


I wonder if they would like being literary examples
of expecting too much from this silly life?



THOU SHALT NOT STEAL THE WRITINGS OF JOHN SCOTT RIDGWAY... YOU CAN EASILY GET PERMISSION FOR A NON COMMERCIAL REPRINT BY CONTACTING MY EMAIL.

FRANKIE LYNN, FALLEN CHILD STAR...

Franky Lynn, Childstar turned porn star turned clerk at an adult bookstore... looked up from his seat on the floor, at the glass counter where some customer was standing and waiting to have his dollars changed into 'tokens', and told himself that he could do this... that it was role like any role and he could do it.

Still, he opened another whippet, put it in his lips and ripped off the top -- the resulting blast freezes his lip to the whippet, something his raging, roaring, hallucinating head does not notice as he stands up and tries to smile for the customer. "Memo, can I slep do wid somptin."

He isn't sure why his words are so screwed up until he starts to feel his lip rip, which sends his buzz running off for higher ground. He jerks the whippet off and see's a thin line of blood spread glistening and black across the glass counter, over the display of dildos and whips and various anal related products of dubious quality.

"I think you are bleeding, dude."
"Tokens?"
"Uh, yes. One dollar please."
"Five dollar limit."
"The other guy never charges me. My mouth is why half these guys come in here."
"Man, your mouth is your own business."
"Doesn't have to be."

He sits back down on the floor and takes down another whippet, watches the ceiling begin to breath for a moment, before he crashes hard and cold and naked back on a planet now filling up with a line of somewhat nervous looking men.

"What is he doing down there?"
"He's licking his balls, like a dog."
"Oh, I have to see that."

He stands up just as a middle aged man with silver glasses, a bald head, and a stringy grey beard traveling across his face where once there was a chin, leans over the counter. His head painful whaps into teeth.
"Oh, god damn it!!! Now, I'm bleeding in my mouth."

One hand pressed to the top of his head, he looks down at the line of men and says, "Who the fuck wants some tokens?"

"Uh, that is why we're been lined up here for the last five minutes, whippet boy."

THe small group of men are staring at the gay mans blood, which is pouring from his mouth and pooling on the gleaming grey linoleum floor. They collective take a step back, then one steps over to the door and pushes it open and leaves, letting the morning sun flow across the small storeroom filled with cheap plastic devices and wall to wall magazines with shiny, airbrushed cheeks on both faces and asses.

He has a coin changer that he hits once for each dollar they hand him. As he takes care of the men and watches them disappear into the pathetic orgy in the back room, he is just grateful that no one recognizes him. He understood why gary coleman punched that women who slammed him for being a security guard so damn well that he often fantasized about hunting her down and killer her, then sending her head to gary... that would violate a restraining order, he reminded himself (he lost what the judge called his 'privelege" to call gary his freind after he took him hostage, with a toy gun, and tried to force him to do a video come back movie that Frankie had tried to do in his twenties, just before finding that unless he stared in porn, he was going to be homeless -- or at least credit cardless, which he once thought was the same thing.


He was pretty sure he was going to be okay in his sleepy little nothing job... and most importantly, he told himself, he was technically still in the business. He could already hear how he would describe the job in bars, "I'm in the marketing end of movies now."


His golden moment ends as peels of laughter come from the back and a lone, feminine voice yells out, "Ohhh, I couldn't believe it was him either," which is followed by a chorus of voices agreeing...

Before he can stop himself, he yells back at them, "Who fucked Drew Barrymore in the ass when he was seven, huh? Who?"

He seems to have stunned them all into silence, and looking at himself in the mirror, he flashes what is left of his trademark smile... which fades as someone who everyone back there just finds hilarious yells out, "Oh, everyone has fucked her in the ass-- even me. I thought she was a little boy. That's what she told me. She'll say anything to get some dick up her ass. You gotta respect that."

And with that, he decided to do the last sleaziest thing he could, the one bottom he always swore he would shoot himself before he experienced . . . Feeling like he was now going to hate himself at some new, herefore undreamed of levelt, he opens his wallet, pulls out the only business card there, and stares at the number as he dials.
When he hears the famalier salesman's chipper closing voice answer, Franklin talks in a dead to the world monotone:
"Yes, uh, Tom, listen... I'm ready to become a Scientologist."



THOU SHALT NOT STEAL THE WRITINGS OF JOHN SCOTT RIDGWAY... YOU CAN EASILY GET PERMISSION FOR A NON COMMERCIAL REPRINT BY CONTACTING MY EMAIL.

THE RETURN OF GILFORD TUTTLE, WHITE MALE CHRISTIAN SUPREMIST!!!

GILFORD TUTTLE, WHITE AMERICAN CHRISTIAN HERE. I have allowed myself to once more soil my soul by coming into this cesspool of filthy words to deliver god's message to you whores and addicts and things I just don't even want to know about...

I AM HERE WITH REVELATIONS MIGHTY AND AWE PROVOKING...

Blonde Buff Jesus will reappear soon!!!! Very, very soon... His mighty self will appear out in the center of lake Michigan. Proudly he will stand there, with mountenous balls just above the water line. At first, citizens of Chicago will only see the mountainous hair dappled testes of our savior!!! Lord be praised!!! It is written that
many will try to repent at that almighty sight, oh yes... the vile readers of blogs like this will be hurting that day... but it will be too late. Yes, you sinners, get ready to be deep fried in a vat of peanut oil (I had a revelation about the type of oil used just the other day -- lord be praised!!).


Now, when those balls appear on the shores of the Mich., those who do not have the Tuttle Family Church Blessing String And Fashion Accessory tied around their pinky toes will go to hell. It is written that the Blonde Buff One will inspect each and every foot, tearing apart any who do not have an actual Tuttle Family Church Blessing String And Fashion Accessory, and not just any peice of string, on their toes...


I am selling these pinky toe strings for the low price of $12, 980.00 or a used car that runs really, really well... or, well... whatever you can afford would probably help with the Tuttle Family Cable Bill Relief Fund, which we need to have by the 23rd of they will shut us off again (they go to hell for this, oh yea they do... I have had many revelations about the tortures they go through while waiting for the cable to come back on -- a Jobian test, for sure.

Of course, to get the Tuttle Family Church Blessing String And Fashion Accessory, you must be baptised in the Church of Tuttle (an off shoot of the Seventh Day Invented Church, that takes into account that only children spawned by me and my seed will be taken to heaven, since all others are pretty much whores and Bablyon lovers and such; including our ex minister, who it was revealed to me in prayer is a satan worshiper who sacrifices children and fornicates with his pigs; and God's word is evidence enough for me, okay, even if the others in our church will not listen).

Where are you going to spend eternity? Getting ass fucked with Satan's dry, red hot poker, or bending down for the Lords' lubricated member? I can't decide for you, or you'd be bent over in prayer already... but I can tell you that around the Tuttle house, for one, we are saying our prayers for KY jelly every 56 minutes, as is required by the King Tuttle Bible.

So if you are a white, conventionally living, conservative person with more stubborness than educating, you will feel right at home at the Church of Tuttle. As far as the rest of you mud men and such go, you are damned to hell and there isn't anything I can do to make you be born white, christian and hetero -- so don't come whining to me about going to hells fires.'

My anglo saxon brothers, come to our church and donate heartily. We have a goal, which prayer assures me we will reach, of moving up out of the tool shed in the backyard and getting ourselves the largest cathedral in the blessed states of america. Lord Buff Jesus With Mountainous Balls, be praised!!

You can be a part of this dream, too. Go ahead and ask god, "God, do you want me to do a great work for you, or just continue on my way to hell?'

If you don't want to go to those fiery pits, than I guess you better send all of your worldly possessions to The Tuttle Electric Bill Relief Fund. Just make the checks payable to Gilford Tuttle, White Man of God Who Burps (yes, this is my legal name -- and no, I did not change it, my parents were just exceptionally clear headed people, okay... and as far the 'burp' part of my name -- dad believed that the Everywhere Blonde Buff Jesus only heard prayers that were burped, which was true at the time, but has since changed due to further revelations to include humming and thumb twiddling . . . only the Jesusmeister can do all three at once, by the way, without dying... well he might die and get resurrected so quick that you wouldn't notice -- there is no way to tell, is there? This is the first thing I am going to ask god about ... well, I guess it's the only unanwered question in m whole univers? Wow.. I am almost too close to being perfect).

Once more, I just wish I could be you, out there reading my luscious, perfect words for the first time and being struck by blonde buff jesus on the arm in a friendly, manly manner. My only regret with being so near to god, and thus godlike, is that I can't gaze upon myself in sheer wonder like I'm sure you can't help but do after reading these words... in fact, I am adding this email to the bible. Yes, it is sacred now.

Go and sin no more, you damn whores.

GILFORD TUTTLE, WHTE CHRISTAIN SUPREMICIST AND PROUD BURPER


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LOVE THEY NEIGHBORS AS YOUR LOVE THYSELF???

I think I may be required to give hand jobs to thousands of chicks... I mean, does this mean that I am biblically commanded to rub the quims of hotties who live next door to me? Does this mean that god himself has decreed that I am to LOVE MY NEIGHBORS AS I LOVE MYSELF??? And if so, is it just like a couple blocks, or is it the whole city?

By god if that is what it takes to save my soul then....
LOVE THEY NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE THYSELF!!!!

Now, since I am something of a chronic masterbater, this is going to involve a hell of a lot of dildo's and lubricants and German Sheperds trained in oral pleasuring by the ancient, chinese method that this guy Floyd who lives in a trailer at the dog track came up with. Floyd always has wine and will share it with anybody who can take his constant talk about all 'the bitches' he was 'boning' (he makes it out like he means women, but we all know he is talking about the dogs, who he buys little dresses and wigs and even make up).

Okay, I think I just had a vision from God... Yes, I did... I am commanded to love my neighbors as I do myself, and this indeed does mean that I am going to be neck deep in sweet, young things who taste like Cherry Sweet Tarts. If I am going to do this, then I have to pleasure them as many times as I have myself, so I really have a hell of a lot of catching up to do.... This could take a lot of vacuum cleaners too, not too powerful though... I won't lose any clit.'s on my watch... oh, hell no... not on my watch.

I always wondered what christians did without smokes and drinks and weed and killing whores and setting fires and fun shit? Now I know -- they are loving each other.... This explains those silly empty smiles too. And of course, now I see why now they defend their religion despite all evidence to the contrary -- they will do anything to keep the babes believing in this whole 'love they neighbor as theyself thing...' I sure as hell wish someone had told me this years ago.


This is exactly what I needed to know to renew my faith in jesus and the super freinds. Hail Mary's Hymen and heil Jesus and fly, Super man, fly like the Easter Weasel...


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VARIOUS POEMS

painting in dark browns



the daily extinctions
cut into my gut

cringe at my cowardice
despise myself & about everyone else
for doing next to nothing
as the innocent die lonely
calling softly for another of their kind

heard a psychologist saying children
will one day want nothing to do with nature
they will avoid the dying as a downer
& innocently hasten
the concrete greying of the forests
lose their knowledge of the joy of a wilderness
unscathed by we the virus
never know an animal not imprisioned
enslaved or imposed upon

we distance ourselves from
ourselves as denizens of this realm
hole up in compartments
connected to video wonderlands
afraid to get too close to the dying

afraid to care

& so humans will change
turn
more
mechanical
less enheartened
less prone toward wanting to emotionally connect
more sociopathic
agoriaphobia normal
obesity eroticized
stone cold killers watching another channel
while their bodies pile up





THE DEVIL'S CARRESS


the wickedness costs me the love of a brother
who chooses to deny and keep peace
rather than burn down the house

my torch offends him
he thinks I am all crazy for wanting to get even

the offender offends again & again & again
stays ensconced in the family
while they leave me to twist in the wind
alone with my messiness

a cliche from a psych book came true
& I still can't believe that I am the scapegoat
in such a banal drama

expected better of everyone
cool & reasoned mechanical responses to data
& they just acted all human
crazed & afraid
trying to save some face

they grew too content in their quiet lies
to want to ever leave the lazy boy chairs
that they fought so damn hard for

I swear on all that was and will be holy
me & that childhood killer
have some unfinished business . . .



agent provcateur



The pain of not being able to pay the bills
the self loathing in envelopes marked urgent
We ALMOST deserve this mess

worlds' got me trained like a circus monkey
bell rings & I jump & cry & RENDER ONTO CEASER
even when we can't afford food

the rich decadent Ceasers all fat and horny
will take away my lights
my internet
my pets
my car
unless I agree to their play money
& pay from birth to death

ain't fair to the losers
ain't fair to anyone

that 2% at the top
needs to be dragged down
and beaten to death
their wealth sent to the starving children

superman would lead the revolution
if he wasn't too busy
doing coke at the playboy mansion
with all the other alpha males



for sale signs




the market that god so mindless and cool

i'll write porn for kids
to read about each other

tales for a crazy cat lady
to rationalize the stench of her diseases

let me tell ya about presidents
the green house effect
the whores in Bombay
and the little boys in Thailand


any damn words that you please
i have a high tolerance for sleaze

tell ya whatever
they want me to tell

prop up your crosses and bosses
challange evolution itself

i'll praise fetuses
and damn abortionists criminal

write out how to hate minorities
and immigrants

don't matter what i think or feel
the market is the only thing that is real


i'll tell the kids to smoke
the aids soaked to poke


tell everyone you are a saint unsainted
a star fell from the sky

got your dummie books and cliff notes
your self help drivel

sure i'll tell ya how to live for awhile
if it makes your money smile

I'll be
the
death
of
us
all



the killer aims into the side of the deer
the round sight of his scope fills with soft brown hairs
he squeezes the trigger
a puff of bright red blood appears in the cross hatch

cheering the killer pulls out his knife

the creature falls
gasping
kicking
coughing up its life
gagging
fighting the dying


the video game screams at us
"Can your killer extinct come out to play?"

The world resounding 'yes'
reverberates through my skull

we kill our way through another game
unconcerned with the shape of our mind

how we create ourselves & our world
comes from our capacity to feel right and wrong
from deep inside of ourselves
in the place where our self respect is born

violence as the horror of last resort
isn't to the market's delight
so we just simply forget the wiser words of our gods
the sense of the Ceaser Chavez's
the hopes of our mothers
& hunt down the deer population
hoard guns in gleaming wooden racks
talk about instincts
create more killers
for histories endless parade of soldiers



the blame game


man's worth is judged by the mindless market
in a population explosion
that cheapens most all of us

just not never no that top few
not the deluded fools
who will whore out the world

that 2% at the top who prefers a bejeweled pool
over a thousand starving children

the ones killing our earth

wish my fucking tv
would quit pretending they're innocent

Play your fiddle !
Watch the burn!




EXPLODING STARS


when the rich and famous
let their hands grow traitorous
they begin to shine like beacons
spewing blackness into the light of day


Hemingway sat in bars
picked fights to feel something real and pure again
through the fog of his drunken mania

Hunter wandered around in the snow
in his bathrobe
firing his shotgun off
into the snowy hills over Denver

maybe they expected everyone
to learn the lessons of their novels
and act accordingly?
come around
wake up
become
all those writer's dreamt of humans ?


Suppose they felt like nothing much matters in the end?

Though the ones left crying at their funerals
stranded here to do the hard work of living
would surely disagree


I wonder if they would like being literary examples
of expecting too much from this silly life?

Ah, but who they were once . . .





the great sleep

Do you pretend quieting the voices in your mind
is the only war you have time to fight?
Is that how you sleep at night?

Do you pretend love is going to step in
and make you feel alright no matter what the fuck?
Is that how you sleep at night?

Do you pretend you have turned to stone,
become a drugged out manniquen,
chic and gorgeous and immobile forever and ever?
Is that how you sleep at night?

Do you pretend the biblical babbling is true?
Dream of heavens worthy of your struggle?
Is that how you sleep at night?

Do you pretend until you forget you are pretending?
Talk the talk until you can walk the walk?
Is that how you sleep at night?

Do you pretend until the world just can't stack up
to the eutopian visions you pretend into?
Make yourself believe you are going to a better place
while you crawl on a bus with a bomb and blow up?
Is that how you sleep at night?


Do you pretend there just ain't nothing you can do?
Is that how you sleep at night?











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SMILING PSYCHOS

the dungeon of his youth spawned
him drunk and angry


beatings turn him into stone
he feels none of her pain
as he slits her throat


the pervert who played with his dick
when he was a kid
opened his mind to devilish options


They drew first blood
He moves among them acting
like what they want him to be
until he can be the one he is
the one who would drive them away
if they were left alive

he wished life was fair
when he was the little boy lost
now that justice would strike him down
he's glad it isn't real
as he taps on your shoulder
and smiles pleasent



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WIKKAPEEHEADIA

the free encyclopedia is a joke, I know, but still someone was nice enough to put me in this thing. I now see that they are debating whether I am of any worth. None of them bother to read my work before giving opinions... Wimpodorkians!! I suppose I could care less about this, but there are a lot of shitty comments about me on there, and it would be nice if one fucking nice comment wasn't from me!!!


Why don't you do a google search on my name, john scott ridgway, go to the not so big debate and let these herpes lickers know that not everyone thinks I am 'worthless' ? Because you are a stoned sloth whose fingers are too greasy from donuts to type? Or is that KY jelly? Don't answer- I really don't want to know.


Know what? I am done wasting my career writing in here. . . I have to devote myself to the task of writing something the dorks like so I can be in Worthlesspeeheadia, A COMING OF AGE NOVEL, PERHAPS? hAS TO BE IN AN ACCEPTED GENRE THAT IS EASY TO PUBLISH, MAYBE HORROR, OR ROMANCE?



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word whores

the market that god so mindless and cool


I'll tell the kids to smoke
the aids soaked to poke


give me a big old bag of weed
and I'll write you up a creed

tell everyone you are a saint unsainted
a star fell from the sky

got your dummie books and cliff notes
your self help drivel

tell ya how to live for awhile
if it makes your money smile

i'll write porn for kids
to read about each other

tales for a crazy cat lady
to rationalize the stench of her diseases

let me tell ya about presidents
the green house effect
the whores in Bombay
and the little boys in thailand


any damn words that you please
I have a high tolerance for sleaze

tell ya whatever
they want me to tell

prop up your crosses and bosses
challange evolution itself

I'll praise fetuses
and damn abortionists criminal

write out how to hate minorities
and immigrants

don't matter what i think or feel
the market is the only thing that is real



the
death
of
us
all




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judeao-corporate lifestyling

child
they will capture you with sweet words of seduction
whisper honey and cream into your ears
promise twenty acres and a mule
sign a contract with your nation
anything to get behind you
to plunge the knife deep into your back
so they can sell your meat
to your children

nothing can stop
the mental slave traders
the judeo-corporate marauders
sailing the seas of our collective consciousness

sit here a few stories above the busy street
watch the cars dash by as they burn out the sky

this whore of a world is all played out
watch it die


so sick of the fucking corporate
excuses for killing me


BANG BANG BANG goes the gun in my head





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cogs

I could have been you
you could have been me
it's a twist of the mind
a trick of the genes
that dark god of chaos
scrawls the lines in between
the inter-changable parts
in this crippled machine.



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revelations of the bloody clown

Hi. I'm dead. My name, where I lived, who I loved and hated is not important to me. Shouldn't be to you.

There is an infinity of surprises involved in dying. I was surprised about going to hell . . . I didn't believe in any of this shit when I had flesh. Then I was surprised all the more when I found out we prefer Satan's domain by such a huge, bloody serious degree.

Why is the life god sentenced us to so painful? Because the god wanted it to be horror filled... in a cosmos with a god, how could it be other? Heaven is the same way, a horror house of blood and gore.

The whole thing with god being good and the devil being bad is all just more of the usual bullshit that the living use to brainwash themselves into plodding through another tricky day.

The one we worshiped as god was really our tormentor, and Satan, the rebel, had been fighting for us. . . makes perfect sense, once you think of it, but the god wouldn't allow enough humans to think this for the thought to grow legs among the living.



The devil, satan, the fallen angel -- he was actually entreating god to end human suffering, telling god that just because he had a need to feel like the humans 'were good enough to worship him,' that this need alone did not make what god was doing right.


God had never been questioned before in any manner that god understood as questioned, and ignored satan's pleas to spare the living beasts of their horror of short, brutal lives.

Satan loved and revered god his father, praised him for every leaf of glorious grass. . . still he couldn't just ignore the screams of the humans. Satan heard from other Angels who shared his torment, and together their disquiet grew...

When he could no longer bear feeling the humans pain, the Dark One rebelled . . . fought for what he knew would be a losing cause. What was our pain to a god? Nothing.

God the mindless child sentenced Satan to remain in the center of the earth, trapped, forever hearing the torment of the dying life forms on the surface.

The Dark Prince cries our tears while the laughter of Christ echoes on high...

True fucking story, man.

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LAMENTING THE LEMMINGS

I would not have spent
all those lonely years
trekking out here
if I did not think
I could draw blood
explode a few bombs
in the infinite realm of techno words

tell myself that I am going to try to sway
the great grey pulsing brain of us all
play the town crier
be an alarm

a paul revere whimpers a few hesitant words
in this obscure rag where I wipe my wad
harp on about an anthropologist declaring
we need to kill off 90% of ourself
for this little planet to feed us

soon the people will start doubling every year,
then every month,
then every week,
every day....
this whore of a world is all played out
the math just works that way
sorry to send out
another obvious truth to dim your day


So many words wasted
on fucking and robbing banks
time spent in an illusion far from the corporate truth
far from the fields
filled with angry young men
carrying guns
and asking WHY?




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revelations of the bloody clown

Hi. I'm dead. My name, where I lived, who I loved and hated is not important to me. Shouldn't be to you.

There is an infinity of surprises involved in dying. I was surprised about going to hell . . . I didn't believe in any of this shit when I had flesh. Then I was surprised all more when I found out we prefer Satan's domain by such a huge, bloody serious degree.

Why is the life god sentenced us to so painful? Because the god wanted it to be horror filled... in a cosmos with a god, how could it be other?

The whole thing with god being good and the devil being bad is all just more of the usual bullshit that the living use to brainwash themselves into plodding through another tricky day.

The one we worshiped as god was really our tormentor, and Satan, the rebel, had been fighting for us. . . makes perfect sense, once you think of it, but the god wouldn't allow enough humans to think this for the thought to grow legs among the living.



The devil, satan, the fallen angel -- he was actually entreating god to end human suffering, telling god that just because he had a need to feel like the humans 'were good enough to worship him,' that this need alone did not make what god was doing right.


God had never been questioned before in any manner that god understood as questioned, and ignored satan's pleas to spare the living beasts of their horror of short, brutal lives.

Satan loved and revered god his father, praised him for every leaf of glorious grass. . . still he couldn't just ignore the screams of the humans.. he heard from other Angels of their torment, and together their disquiet grew...

When he could no longer bear feeling the humans pain, the Dark One rebbelled; fought what he knew would be a losing cause . . What was our pain to a god? Nothing. God the mindless child then sentenced Satan to remain in the center of the earth, trapped, forever hearing the torment of the dying life forms on the surface.

The Dark Prince cried our tears while the laughter of Christ echoed on high...
.
True fucking story, man.



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MILLIONS OF YEARS IN THE FUTURE

EVERY ANIMAL IN A ZOO IS GOING TO EVOLVE INTO A BEAST ROUGHLY SHAPED LIKE A VERY LARGE CURDS OF COTTAGE CHEESE.


Why aren't people protesting this in the streets? Ask yourself that, why don't you? Bet ya can't cause it would like blow your mind into nezt tuesday.





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HEBLERS TALKING CAT

Dr. Helber came from a long line of slightly whacked out inventors; men and women who were geniuses in arcane manners altogether different than playing baseball or having spouses. Professors and hermit writers mostly, with the occasional sensational madmen and drunks.

As a child looking over one of his family gatherings, it had seemed to him that only the children were sane and at least nominally average in their socialization (he was always having thoughts like that, even as a child). Hank Helber had thought he would be different. In the first rebelllions of his youth, when the hypocrisy of the world was almost too much to bear, he had promised himself that he would never fall in love with the idea of something that only a few people on the earth would care about.... like his uncles who only really came alive when they were discussing their fields of study. The older they got the less they noticed things like wearing socks and brushing their teeth. A lot of the women were on anti depressents.

His family tree was full of people who climbed so high that only a couple other humans on the planet could follow them. He despised them until he was 20 and getting his masters degree, and realizing that there was no way he wanted to spend the rest of his life supporting himself dealing weed and living to surf. Economic realities forced him to leave hawaii, quit smoking weed and surfing, and start working at one of his uncles labs. His moving advance was more money than he had made in his entire life.

The huge salary stole his soul. Within six months he developed needs that he didn't even know existed when he was poor. A bidet that he could no more go without than deoderant, his shirts had to be perfectly fitted... pants had to be creased --he would have once rolled up the legs
and ignored whatever little kasnivel that was wrong with them purely to make his usual second hand purchase.

Now, here he was, finishing up twenty years of work in his own lab, after aprenticing for another ten with other top scientists in the fields related to his field of study -- inserting vocal capabilities into otherwise dumb animals, so that they could express their wills, and thus have more say in the affairs of the earth. Once long ago when the juices of youth were spurting out of his every pore he had believed that he could really help the world, save a few species from extinction.
He was pretty sure that he had.

In his biography, he wrote:

'As my lights up stairs dim and some go out entirely, I suppose that now is the time to tell the darker side of my experiments. That which is too embarrassing for me to allow to come out within 100 years of being alive. I drew up a contract based on the one Mark Twain used to keep his darker poet from effecting those he loved.

I want to tell the tale of Buk, most controversial of historic figures. As a revolutionary leader, his image has been mythologized so much that sometimes I barely recognize the cat that was, the real feline who lived. He didn't say a lot of course, but what he did has become something of the mantra of our critics,

After the surgeries and the nanotechs increasing his language abilities and the thousands of hours of being read to and lectured and all the other little surgical nuances that it took to insert the proper vocal cords in his furry throat, after giving us no indication that he could utter a sound for three months, Buk suddenly looked up at me and said, in a voice clear and modulated to perfection, "That you think you have done me a favor shows me that you are truly lost."'

He died then of course. Well, he might as well have. He wouldn't speak, eat. Withered away."

As he read over the first page of his biography, he thought, 'I kept doing the research, even after that. SO maybe this is when I lost my soul?'

For twenties years, his experiments never really got any better results. Thinking back over this, he realizes that he is kidding himself if he thinks he can take the mental pain of writing his biography... He had somehow thought he could find a little bit of redemption by offering a cautionary tale to others. The concept never really had a chance to get off the ground.


Later that afternoon, his car seemingly missed an exit off the Kennedy Expressway and slammed into a huge concrete post, tearing him into four distinct piles of flesh. His last thoughts took place in the pile where most of his brains were. He was aware of a fire waging around him and
had a feeling that there was a hell... and indeed, seconds later, from far off at first and then getting closer and closer, is a horrifying laugh that could only come from Satan.


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