I often wish I was a psycho, of course. There is a part of me that would like to have no compunction about killing -- hopefully, I would be some sort of righteous batman. Unfortunately, I am more Charlie Brown than Charles Bronson, and the only Death Wish I have is pretty much spent on worthless moping and whining around my blog.
But no... I am too lazy to kill massah jackoffyourson or any of his helpers.... the money worshipers who circled the wagon around this freak deserve burning arrows in their eyes, too...
But, like Socrates before me, I abide by the laws of my society... Because, sadly enough, I am not a religious psycho killer. I'm not sure what my parents did right (we never talked about that in therapy, because of that thing where the therapist gets you to dislike your parents so you will bond with them, something they have all too scarily in common with cults).
Does this mean that for some reason I like killing? No. Never could stomach faces of death, howl like a monkey until I can change the channel when some horrible parental beasts crimes are blathered out on the nightly news bulletins. Still, I am Johnny Pain, no denying it. A guy who loves the idea of kicking ass, a fifteen year cab driver with muscles and boxing and lots of street fighting behind my punch first policy (which has held me in good steed over the years, though I recognize the stupidity of it and consider it a side of me best repressed).
Funny thing, is the novel I am writing, the violence is anything but funny. It is the true grotesquery of the book -- as it is in my first, One War, which some brilliant person is going to buy one day and get the privilege of selling all my other work. Or, not.... poverty may just be something that helps my work for all I know, though I have my doubts.
so there, to anyone who thinks this is the psycho killer shit list, and that I will be killing all who I name... well, if you are one of those people, I hope the thought makes your life a living hell, actually, but you ain't worth the prison time of anyone (with the exception of religious psycho killers, who actually often get married while in prison... to chicks who write in, other inmates... you know what ever god tells you to do.... I'm just saying)
I was once actually thrown out of school for inciting a riot. I painted this sign, like fifty feet by five feet, in all these cool colors and different types, reading,
PENTA COUNTRY STONERS NEVER LOSE THEIR BUZZ. Penta County was a school I mistakenly went to for a year or so before my back surgeries started.
ALL WRITING IN HERE IS THE PROPERTY OF JOHN SCOTT RIDGWAY, AND YOU CAN GET MY PERMISSION TO PERFORM AND REPRINT WITH AN EMAIL. Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates.