WHERE CAN I GET SOFTWARE TO INVENT MY OWN GOD??

Someone needs to invent software, which is easy enough for the dull and dimly lit to understand, that those who insist on being deluded can use, by answering just a few simple questions, to have a religion created specifically for them.

They can have a gay apreciating god, or a fire and brimstone behemoth, depending on how scarred the insides of their heads are. And anything else you can think of. They would all have in common the code Do As You Will And Harm None. Maybe a bit of the golden rule?

Regardless of such minutia as the actual beliefs, the rituals will be all cooled and tailored to provoke maximum devotion in the particular flesh puppet who creates their own strings to their own all time favorite puppeteer. To bad there is that Cure's song called Your Own Personal Jesus, because that would be the perfect title for this.

Each household could have it's own deity (or more), and perhaps even a coat of arms to put on their sheilds, or use in dungeons and dragons, or whatever.

So, the next L. Ron Hubbard clone to get rich off of people's innate curiosity about the universe, will probably be some bitter 35 year old programmer with a coke habit and a secret fondness for glory holes.
Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates. Or sued or something bad like that...

WHAT IS THE WORST SIGHT IN THE WORLD, I AM SURE YOU OFTEN WONDER?

Well, Wondering about what IS THE WORST sight to peirce ones eyes has always been something of a hobby of mine. I would call myself an advanced amatuer int he disciple that is wondering what the worst sight in the world could be. Expert student college taught me to be, -- though little else, I fear sometimes late into the night-- I did the usual research, interviewed experts and corresponded ceaselessly to academics with theories from presentable to cuckoo, cuckoo. I really wanted to know what the worst sight in the world is in a very bad way; others seek the heights of Everest, the sublime transcendence of poetry, the rush of the stage, the flagrant juice swap of love lapping and variations of the stimulation of banal glands, and a plethora of putrid variations on the tentative themes of the normal/average...



Me, I had to see what the darkest face of the enemy was...Perhaps I was really thinking that to know its face was to be able to defeat the dark? More than likely I had too much time on my hands and plenty of fine green weed bubbling in my red plastic Headway 'tobbacco tasting device' formerly known as the rock star, 'Bong.' Yes, I knew this was dangerous to my psych, and maybe even physical health. But, like Alexander the Great without the butt hole surfing, I just had to know if I could conquer this battle... and bring peace to the realm of my mind... or something else that sounds clearly like it comes from an outdated self help book.

I would have started with those faces of death videos, but they are just too fucking gross for me to look at. All I would see is a pathetic sight anyways, not the worst...

I am, for the first time, allowing all three or four of my reading public in on my obsession because I have finally figured out what the worst sight in the world is...

Yes, my quest unexpectedly ended this afternoon when I accidently happed upon my Holy Grail...

The worst sight in the world is looking down into a bong and seeing a seed explode just as you pull in a big old harsh hit.

I write this not to lead you to your own abysses edge, but as a warning not to go where I have gone... may the fates spare you the horror, the horror that confronted me when I saw this, the true heart of darkness... Believe me, you never want to see a seed exploding the last crumbs of your bud down onto the dog fur dusted floor... The Jamaican's call the burning seeds, Diablo Eyes -- which translates to those without weed dreams to mean SATAN'S OWN EYES.

FEAR THEM, OH YOUNG PUFFERS.... YES, INDEED... sooner or later, you will have to face the Diablo Eyes, and I can only hope your mind and body and whatever spirit you think you have is ready as all hell.

the book

I am having a hard time sleeping;' just lay in bed running all these different possible plots through my head. the book I am now designing is chock full of subplots and little mysteries and such. I know how it starts, and how it endes, and some of what happens in the middle.







Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates. Or sued or something bad like that...

a powerful right winger admits fucking mules

And he calls this NORMAL? Makes you wonder about the company these weirdos keep, eh?

I read this in the village voice today... I think it is implied that he had sex with various types of animals, though one would be enough to get his balls chopped off in my realm.


BORROWED FROM THE VILLAGE VOICE
WASHINGTON, D.C.?Alan Colmes, on his Fox radio talk show last week, asked anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley if he was kidding when Horsley once claimed to have had sex with animals as a boy growing up in Georgia. Horsley is best known for his "Nuremberg Files," which, according to Planned Parenthood, lists abortion doctors "marked for death." Here was the exchange between Colmes and Horsley:

Horsley: Hey, Alan, if you want to accuse me of having sex when I was a fool, I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like I . . .


Colmes: You had sex with animals?


Horsley: Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.


Colmes: I'm not so sure that that is so.


Horsley: You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?


Colmes: Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?


Horsley: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality. . . . Welcome to domestic life on the farm. You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that. . . . If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.


Not knowing whether or not to believe this, we called Horsley and read him the quotes. "That's correct," he said. Then we looked at his website. Here's what it says: "Now when homosexuals, or adulterers, or fornicators, or pedophiles, or beast fornicators and beast suckers, or any sexual outlaws, parade themselves around as if they could be followers of Jesus Christ, they demonstrate a lie and blasphemy and abomination."






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I have been surfing through a lot of cult sites lately as I build a fictional one for my new book. The preponderance of sexual abuse among all forms of the clergy is not an anomaly, I think, but more the direct result of assuming that one is 'special' in the eyes of god, and thus anything you do is up for instant forgiveness. Yuck... This god of theirs is way more forgiving than any sane person would be.

Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates. Or sued or something bad like that...

THIS FUCKING LIFE...43....and counting...

Oh, what excitement... this weekend I have my birthday, marking me two decades and three years amongst the living. I am certainly in my middle age, that period when I can look back and say, I will live about as many more years as I have so far... and marvel at how fast those years ran away.

We are celebrating by going to this monstrously long play -- six hours in total. I love the idea... a pulitzer prize winning script and great reviews for the present caste and direction bode well for the either seven hour marathon of drama on Saturday, or splitting the shows in two, and going both Saturday and Sunday. Presently, we plan on going home between shows. Staying out for seven hours watching a play would be almost too much for me to handle. But, who knows? I seldom want a play to end, after all. Unlike movies, which usually I am ready to leave about 15 minutes before the oh so fucking predictable hero winning and living.

The Kentucky Circle. I will most certainly be writing about it over the weekend. Anyone seen this play, or read it? Yea, right... like the kind of misanthropes that come into my writing read much more than prescription labels and hightimes (and I know you're not reading that damn article in that porno magazine, so it does not count as actual reading).


I am listening to music on the computer as I type on the computer and record a movie and a song and .... Jimminy. I have lept into the Matrix (I am trying to make it through all three movies this week, the last one for the first time, and have stalled on like the ten thousandth enemy attack being fought off. They really, really seem to be shooting the same scene over and over with slight changes. I think those brothers who made these fillms should do fewer shrooms and just leave the coke and h. alone). I really have to hand it to my buddy Jerry, this computer and software have really kept me busy this last week or so. I am playing godzillion games, all of sega and genisis, doom, quake, halo... I have been beavis and buthead, a high tech warrior, a dolphin, a car... what marvelous wonders there are out there now.

I never would have thought that toys would advance so far in my lifetime. Science, maybe... but toys? Who'd of thunk it. And I guess the games are adding to complex thinking skills and such... preparing folk for the armed forces, drug dealing, nation building, out running the cops, and various other skills which will be needed by certain segments of the gaming populace.

My next step is going to be into animation. I have always wanted someone to do comics for me, but I always have to do my own... I had an animator breifly working at the assinine tv show I produced and wrote many years back. I really have the bug after watching Family Guy dvd's tonight. That show kicks ass. OF course, watching stewie, I feel a little uneasy about making all my statements about world conquest. I am talking about the same thing as a diapper shitting psycho... great.





Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates. Or sued or something bad like that...

CRUCIFIED::::: ONE ATHEIST... FOR YOUR SINS... HERE, TODAY, NOW...

In other news, a lad in chicago who is a known atheist, was denied a job that he had already essential gotten on the merits of his education, because he is a known atheist...

Yes, the school would not hire a science teacher solely because he is an atheist. He is well known around here because his father often filed suits alleging that religion and state were not being seperated. This man defended the principles that keep us all from having to bow to some false idol or another. Whatever his belief, which was/is atheism, he did good things. He made a bit of a baffoon of himself in some peoples eyes, by suing the boy scouts over prayer, which is throwing the baby out with the bathwater... but, that was the teacher's father who filed the lawsuits. The teacher himself was just out of school and had gone all the way through the interview process, when suddenly, a few days before he was to start, he was called and told that he had 'philosophical differences' with the staff there.

I really want people like that teaching my children... should I ever snatch one to experiment on (I want to bf skinner them into world dictators or about anything else that would make them a viable option for mooching off).



THANKS TO ERIC ZORN OF THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE for writing about this story. May he follow up until the noose's fall on the right necks... so to speak. He is on the web and derserving of a read.
Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates. Or sued or something bad like that...