PENGUINS TAKEN IN RAPTURE...DESPONDENT HUMANS LEFT BEHIND!!!!!

PENGUINS TAKEN IN RAPTURE...DESPONDENT HUMANS LEFT BEHIND!!!!!Seemingly only penguins were taken up into the heavens this morning when a supreme deity finally kept its promise to save the worthy from the hell of the world.

As the deity scooped up the penguins in his hands, thousands of screaming human voices were raised to protest the supreme deity's decision, representing every type of whining known to man. The deity shushed the humans, then pointed at the amusing antics of various penguins who were doing an elaborate ice-scapade version of a tale that they explained, in a short introduction, was too complex for human understanding. . .




Before leaving, the deity told the humans,"Hey, ectoplasm, get over yourself. I didn't even try to make another species that comes close to a penguin. Let alone, Man... Yea, right -- come on, you don't even really believe that, do you? Every dog you have ever met is a better being than you. . . I mean, name a dog that isn't a better being than you? ... Let alone a penguin -- they're fucking nature's clowns, man! You put your robin williams and conans on stage with an emporer penguin, not only will it kick their asses, it will make you laugh harder than you ever have before in your life while it does so. You are a component in an echosphere, and if anything, you should be punished, if not just weeded out. You're probably very lucky that I don't bother thinking about you very much."

After finding out their species is well down on the animal totem pole that god uses to judge specks of the echosphere, humans around the world were reported to be, 'thinking about other stuff,' and 'keeping busy.'







NOTE FROM JOHNNY PAIN: Well, I'd say YOU HUMANS have a bit of egg on the old face, today, huh? I am so glad I married into another species, marsupial. I mean, we might go after dogs or something, but man? Like the deity said when asked about when the humans would go, "Not on my fucking watch, that is for sure."








copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

TAKE A FUCKING BATH

TAKE A FUCKING BATH!!!!
home
by jsr

12/05/06
21:09
The stench of this city often leads to blood baths, okay? This has gotten much worse since I quit smoking a few months ago. It was okay during the winter, when the frozen puddles of urine around the el train provided merely a fun way to slide down the sidewalk for a few feet, but then the air warms and the microbes start breeding and then flying off into the air and lodging in my nostrils... like tiny fart bombs exploding in my nose.

The dog has to go out the alleyway entrance, too... leading to our passing various dumpsters, which thrills her bouncy little ass all to hell and makes me feel like killing before we even get around the usual assholes I have to snuff to have a peaceful walk in this neighborhood.

So today I had to go to the doctor. . . One starts at UIC by going to register, where you make your co-payment before they see you. . . this involves a wait. I walk into this room filled with fat mommas staring blankly off as their kids run around the room screaming, a couple old people looking slightly terrified, and a SMELL . . . BO. The worst. You smell bo from every fucking portion of a persons body and smelling the grunge from between the large flaps of fat on these cows who were in there with me was just TOO FUCKING MUCH!!!

I tried to be nice, though, since I need to get to see the doctor to get the drugs that help keep me stay crazy enough to keep up to the high standards of serial and spree killing that have become synonomous with the name of Pain. So first I just said, "One of you cows stinks so fucking bad that I am going to piss on you, which will be a fucking improvement!!!"

They all just looked at me for a blank second, then went back to whatever the hell they were doing before I stood up and started screaming. This just made me madder so I grabbed the first kid I saw and snapped his neck. The loud cracking of his neck brought silence to the room. "I did that," I told them, "so his spincter would release, because even shit smells better than you fucking wenches!!!"

I didn't really give them time to say much else or react, just threw the kid at the nearest window (he bounced off -- damn the safety glass in skyscrapers!!), pulled the uzis out and started mowing them down.... satisfying screams were hardly enough for me to spend anymore time in that room, though...

I saved one guy alive, handed him an empty uzi, then shot him in the head.

The campus cops showed up about then. I pointed at the black guy that had the uzi still clutched in his hand and told them, "Murder suicide. A sad tale. I just missed seeing it. Have a good day officers."

So, kids, take this as a freindly reminder that proper hygeine is very important!!!!







copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

painting her

from cold space we emerge
come here seeking passion


today

we conjour



notice her: high cheek bones and seductive ways

in the moonlight
her grey sweater glows
as her breasts rise and fall
with her quickening
breath

black pants white socks
shiny high healed black shoes
that gleam in the dark



we tear out the predators teeth
& render the rest absurd







copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway

well, they put my elves attic back up.. but it is frozen..

This means that I cannot add anything to the Elf anymore. Effectively, they have shut me down. I am happy that they did not erase my site, like I feared that they have. I tried a zillion different combinations of the names I use in the blog, and none were compatible with my email address. This is too weird for a weedy head like mine. I am definatly going to be writtig here on Blogspot from now on...







copywrite 2006 john scott ridgway