swimming in an ocean of shit.

Picture of M and I.

you will have to go to my other site to see this... http://theelvesattic.ebloggy.com






ALL WRITING IN HERE IS THE PROPERTY OF JOHN SCOTT RIDGWAY, AND YOU CAN GET MY PERMISSION TO PERFORM AND REPRINT WITH AN EMAIL. Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates.

PUFFINS REFUSE TO SHOW THEIR SMILING FACES TO THE CROWDS. THE QUEEN IS NOT AMUSED.

PUFFINS REFUSE TO SHOW THEIR SMILING FACES TO THE CROWDS.  THE QUEEN IS NOT AMUSED.


 THE QUEEN IS NOT AMUSED!!!For days now, zookeepers at the Lincoln park zoo have been having trouble with the rather notorious puffins in the main birdhouse. There have been rumbles with other birds in the past, photographs of the bouyant waterfowl flashing gang signs, and whispers that only their well-documented excessive use of drugs keeps them constantly smiling all day -- yet, in spite of all their personal problems, and what numerous puffins have described as 'really, really killer hang overs,' the puffins have always somehow gathered the gumption to show their smiling faces to the crowd. Not today, though. No, on this dark excuse for day, the puffins have turned their backs on the adoring crowds and are spewing white runny feces out their asses out right onto their once faithful well-wishers... Yes, this is hard to remove from the hair and lips, feces; this fount of puffin shit indeed does sting in the eyes, and taste terrible in the mouth. For journalistic purposes, I did have to have a taste…The Queen is not amused!!!
The bejewled old leach called a special session of parliament today, immediantly after news of the Puffins unruly, anti-market behavior hit the shocked and sadden shores of great BrittanyThe queen addressed parliament for thrity seven minutes, screaming over and over into the microphone, "The queen is not amused."
Landed Gentry in the parlaiment then began singing, in gregorian chants, over and over, rising and sitting as they intoned, "Theeeeee Queen . . . is . . . not . . . a.. mused."
One of the princes flounced up and smacked the old queenie to stop her from screaming that she was not amused, and the bejeweled wrinkle then went on to urge the puffins to ‘do their part,’ by 'smiling through the bars of their cages.'
Seemingly unimpressed, the puffins responded by continuing to spew white gook from their anuses at the passing crowds.
In related news, the penguins are still spinning around in circles as fast as they can and screaming, :Oh, the shits with you," over and over again with no sign of stopping.
When their publicist was asked just what the heck those waterfowl are up to, she mysteriously answered this reporters stern, probing question by smiling and looking out at the horizon, then saying in a breathless, excited voice, "They are ushering in the new time!!"

welcome to the post environmental age

Below is a link to a new animal, just discovered. Better look quick because the poor, ugly little thing isn't exactly pet material so you can expect its extinction soon. Yes, this is the thesis statement... http://theelvesattic.ebloggy.com

We think that keeping these animals in zoos will preserve them for the future, like the pyramids... leave it to mystically addled humans to make every other creature on the planet evolve until large, hair less beings that look like curds of cottage chesse. What else could they look like after evolving to live in a cage for thousands of years being fed for nothing. They will get bored of pacing, and one day just sit there and gawk back at us... I mean, you can't even give animals treats at the zoos anymore, and let me tell you, in the opinion of my dear husky girl Ruby, and the remaining Kitty Bum Buk, this just ain't right. ... zoos, you can't even be against them anymore because there is no nature for them to go back to.

Funny, I came in here this morning to pretend like I could start a trend, be the first one to declare that this the post environmental era, and wrote this really sad essay filled with jesus juice jokes and other disgusting, Johnny Pain at his painwracked meanest.... then, between trying to get the picture to come up on my blog and moving the type around, I lost the essay. What can I say, the world needs less whining, right? Luckily my pills and a few bowls have hit me skull since then...

However, since my thesis here is how to save the world, which is important to me no matter how much you are laughing right now and how silly this will sound to me on after the surgery, when I expect to be on at least a few less pills, I am going to move one with my THESIS STATEMENT RELATED MATERIAL.

I am a reluctant carnivore. Embarrassed by my meat addiction everytime I see a cow or a pig or a chicken. The futility of what one man can do in this world and my poverty kind of combine to keep me on the edge of the idea of the costly switch to eating right. I mean, know that if we could do away with the entire meat industry in one fell swoop, the world be better off. I would like people to stop showing at emergency wards with unbelievable stories about why they have light bulbs in their asses to be passe' as well, but like war and taxes....

The dying off of all the forests that we are seeing now, starkly and nightly, is a storm that is settling over the planet, and the lightening is striking already. You should never do things like drown your mother in an oil slick... (unless she is on my list). Fire, destruction, wave after wave of ancient cultures flushed into tent cities....

Not that I don't think humans are just selfish enough to figure out some way to survive in our gray, concrete future. ... We will shuffle through zoo's and see the large curds of cottage cheese that once leapt from branch to branch, high above man's bafoonery.... and we will read the histories of these times with disgust.

Hey, maybe all those statistics showing a rise in apocalyptic thinking are really people, in some garbled way, reading the thoughts of all of the animals on the planet? I am sure some Kook believes this somewhere.

So, do not become an environmentalist terrrorist because it won't do shit. Animal lovers lost... the winners are wearing them as coats.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050414/481/lon11904142236

ALL WRITING IN HERE IS THE PROPERTY OF JOHN SCOTT RIDGWAY, AND YOU CAN GET MY PERMISSION TO PERFORM AND REPRINT WITH AN EMAIL. Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates.

Thu Apr 14, 6:36 PM ET

Undated handout photo issued by Bristol Zoo Gardens, of 'Kintana', the first captive bred aye-aye, an arboreal nocturnal lemur, Daubentonia madagascariensis, a native to Madagascar, to be born in the United Kingdom. Bristol Zoo Gardens announced Friday April 15, 2005, that it is the first UK zoo to successfully breed and hand-rear an aye-aye, the largest nocturnal primate in the world and one of the strangest mammals on the planet. (AP Photo/Bristol Zoo Gardens)




ALL WRITING IN HERE IS THE PROPERTY OF JOHN SCOTT RIDGWAY, AND YOU CAN GET MY PERMISSION TO PERFORM AND REPRINT WITH AN EMAIL. Steal from me and you will be cursed in such a way that your hands turn into worthless, jelly fish like appendages that sting your intimates.