My neighbor thinks he is from outer space....

We were sitting in his dim apartment, in the middle of the afternoon, me on his black leather couch and him on a folding lounge chair striped yellow and white. Mitch was drunk. He has dark pouches under his eyes, skinny as a rail, his face always gloomy and ethereally white under his dark black hair. His eyes are the blue of wolves and huskies, not human. They lit up as he held a lighter over a bong and pulled in a hit.




?Man, your eyes are not human. ?




?Oh, yea? I made a few mistakes when I was putting together this human.? His voice is quiet and has no modulation at all, which does make him speak in a way that is other-worldly.




?Oh, well, that makes perfect sense. Frankenfuckingstein.?




?You are the most bitter human I have met.?




?Thank you.?




? If I was visible in this room, in my at rest form, I would look like a sliver of light. You wouldn¢t notice me.?




?Glad ya grew some flesh, then, I guess.?




?You would be surprised by? There are aliens all around us all the time. You either can¢t see them, or don¢t notice them as anything out of the ordinary.?









I remembered something about scientology and thirty aliens being in all humans. ?So, you¢re a scientologist then, that type of alien. The kind who pays thousands and thousands of dollars to blank eyed fools so they can hypnotize you all good and meaningful into a little made up life all your own, shielded from all facts, and all that nasty reality,¢ ?Shit, no? I don¢t expect you to believe this. In fact, I would think less of you if you did.?




This sounded too sane to be coming from a man who had just told me he was an




alien. Figuring he was going to let me in on the joke any second, I added, ?So what¢s your mission here? To drink a lot and smoke weed, maybe get into some Nugent??




?I wish I had a mission. That would be fun.?




?So you crash landed??




?No? there is no? I¢m actually a sliver of something that would look like light to you. We don¢t use ships. No one does, except, as far as I know, you humans. I made this human after studying mammals for a few minutes and then I grew the flesh. A long time ago.?




?What, like millions of years ago??




?You expect too much from aliens.?




?Yea, aliens and women, both.?




?I¢m forty nine and three quarters old.?




?Oh.?




?You have any more questions??




?Uh . . . do you eat humans?? I started laughing, but his face just kept the odd stillness and no inflections crept into his words to reveal a deeper current of moods.




?No. I hate discussing it. The people who believe me are often? odd.?




?I¢ll bet they are. I¢d leave this fucking second if you were serious.?




?No, you know I¢m serious. You just want me to be insane. That will require less effort on your part.?




?Yeah, well you got that right. You really believe this shit??




?It¢s not a question of belief, just what is.?




?To you, maybe? the rest of us are pretty unconvinced, okay?? I stood up and stretched. ?So, you do any miracles??




?No miracles.?




?How about some magic trick? You got to offer people some proof that you are an alien. No one is just going to believe you, except, like you said, the nuts.?




?And people in cults. They are easy to convince.?




?




End
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