YOU'RE A WHAT????

Frambles pushed himself up and off of the creamy white flesh, rolled over on his back and looked up into the ceiling, noticing numerous cob webs that he was surprised he had never seen before. He wanted to think about the cob webs just then to the exclusion of all, expecially the woman he was laying in bed with, who he had just seduced with a combination of Bing Crosby, a hot, candled bath, and copious amounts of weed and beer.


Frambles was basically moral. At least he thought he was, by virtue of the fact that he gave a lot of thought as to whether he was acting on the side of the heros, or following around his ignorant inner ape.
He had become like this because of his parents treatment of him during critical phases in his early childhood development, genetic possibilities and probablities, and all in all accidents and designs too numerous to recall. He was physically repulsed by the idea of doing something he considered evil. And evil he had just done, however unknowingly.


He had picked the girl up in a bar, where she appeared to be a groupie who followed around his roomates band. Turns out, as she had just made clear, she had used a false id to get into the bar, and despite her allusioins to worldly ways and the ease with which he had seduced her, she had just announced to him that she was a virgin.

"That's why it hurt."
"I guess. I don't really know how its supposed to feel."

"Oh, christ!!!" He had seduced her knowing that he did not want a relationship with her, a stupid thing that he had done enough as a teenager to know better.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing... just that I'm twenty seven and you are sixteen. You really should have told me that you were a sixteen year old virgin."
"You wouldn't have went out with me then. So, we're going together now, right?"
"Oh, christ..... I'm divorced. I don't go with people anymore. I either date, engage, or marry."
"Seriously, we're going together, right?"
"As long as you don't care if I refer to you as jail bait, even in front of your parents."
"That will be funny."
"You could get in a lot of trouble assuming that I am an adult who knows what he is talking about."
"You've already gotten me in a lot of trouble. I always wanted to try pot, too, though..."
"What? Oh, Christ... you've never tried pot, either?"
"No, but I wanted to...."
"I should just cut to the chase and get you addicted to herion and put you out on the streets to hooker for me. You know, I just realized, if you ever get really pissed at me, you could have me sent straight to jail."
"Well, I guess you had better treat me right." She meant this as a joke, at that moment, though he would find out later the implication that he owed her would grow stronger and stronger in her mind... and that is how a foolish twenty seven year old male ended up spending an hour and half being humiliated at a high school prom in Findlay, Ohio.


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