We're called Really Idle.
We cover the music from his period between eight and ten years old, before he had any songs or anything... this way we don't have to get together and practice or perform or anything, and we still get to tell people we are in a band. We are looking for a drummer, by the way... even someone who taps on the driving wheel during songs will be okay, because there is obviously no drum in any of our non-songs (we play what we call non-songs, by the way). I hear that there is already quite a big buzz in the music industry about us. At least, uhmm... I think there will be by the time you read this, since this is I guess the first official record that our band exists.
You see, contrary to what is generally believed, I am pretty cool... right? I mean, right???? Oh, fuck you all in your right nostrils with a maggot writhing cucumber infected with pink eye and tape words!!!!
Man, I really wish I had just spent my life raising an army... what a waste of time I am... well, was... until this band thing came along. I know we will go to the top if I really believe hard enough, man. I just know it. THOU SHALT NOT STEAL THE WRITINGS OF JOHN SCOTT RIDGWAY... YOU CAN EASILY GET PERMISSION FOR A NON COMMERCIAL REPRINT BY CONTACTING MY EMAIL.