Reporters reported to each other today that a crowd of necrophyliacs marched through downtown Chicago's Daly Plaza. Two hundred thousand strong, the local neighborhood group was waving placards and chanting, "Necrophyliacs unite-- fuck them corpses, it's your right!!" Numerous police officers on the scene were won over by this convincing arguement and broke ranks, going over to the protesters in often heart warming shows of solidarity between 'the man' and 'the people.'
Later in the afternoon, The Friends Of Animal Co-olition, a front organization for the fringe group The Union Of Bestiality Behooved, which is a front organization for Future Farmers of America-- which is a front organization for Psycho Animal Fuckers ( a shady group that may or may not be a front for the CIA), launched a sympathy strike to show their brotherhood with the fuckers of the dead, closing down their web site, LovingThatBestiality.com, which is often described by the press and cross country bikers as 'the' source for information on how to screw animals of all varieties. While hundreds of other sites make this claim as well, they all do acknowledge that Loving That Bestiality has some of the world's most renknown animal orifice lubrication specialists, an elite group that has consulted with every president since Jefferson.
When asked about what he thought, as an average corporate citizen, a passer in a three piece suit with a bold, confident stride, stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, stumbled and fell to the ground in a fetus position before muttering, "No... no... they do that to us even after we're dead? Oh, god, no... they told me there was just heaven."
Thinking the prone man was dead, various Necrophyliacs broke ranks with their chanting bretheren and rushed over to sodomize the sobbing corporate prince.
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