GILFORD TUTTLE, WHITE AMERICAN CHRISTIAN HERE. I have allowed myself to once more soil my soul by coming into this cesspool of filthy words to deliver god's message to you whores and addicts and things I just don't even want to know about...
I AM HERE WITH REVELATIONS MIGHTY AND AWE PROVOKING...
Blonde Buff Jesus will reappear soon!!!! Very, very soon... His mighty self will appear out in the center of lake Michigan. Proudly he will stand there, with mountenous balls just above the water line. At first, citizens of Chicago will only see the mountainous hair dappled testes of our savior!!! Lord be praised!!! It is written that
many will try to repent at that almighty sight, oh yes... the vile readers of blogs like this will be hurting that day... but it will be too late. Yes, you sinners, get ready to be deep fried in a vat of peanut oil (I had a revelation about the type of oil used just the other day -- lord be praised!!).
Now, when those balls appear on the shores of the Mich., those who do not have the Tuttle Family Church Blessing String And Fashion Accessory tied around their pinky toes will go to hell. It is written that the Blonde Buff One will inspect each and every foot, tearing apart any who do not have an actual Tuttle Family Church Blessing String And Fashion Accessory, and not just any peice of string, on their toes...
I am selling these pinky toe strings for the low price of $12, 980.00 or a used car that runs really, really well... or, well... whatever you can afford would probably help with the Tuttle Family Cable Bill Relief Fund, which we need to have by the 23rd of they will shut us off again (they go to hell for this, oh yea they do... I have had many revelations about the tortures they go through while waiting for the cable to come back on -- a Jobian test, for sure.
Of course, to get the Tuttle Family Church Blessing String And Fashion Accessory, you must be baptised in the Church of Tuttle (an off shoot of the Seventh Day Invented Church, that takes into account that only children spawned by me and my seed will be taken to heaven, since all others are pretty much whores and Bablyon lovers and such; including our ex minister, who it was revealed to me in prayer is a satan worshiper who sacrifices children and fornicates with his pigs; and God's word is evidence enough for me, okay, even if the others in our church will not listen).
Where are you going to spend eternity? Getting ass fucked with Satan's dry, red hot poker, or bending down for the Lords' lubricated member? I can't decide for you, or you'd be bent over in prayer already... but I can tell you that around the Tuttle house, for one, we are saying our prayers for KY jelly every 56 minutes, as is required by the King Tuttle Bible.
So if you are a white, conventionally living, conservative person with more stubborness than educating, you will feel right at home at the Church of Tuttle. As far as the rest of you mud men and such go, you are damned to hell and there isn't anything I can do to make you be born white, christian and hetero -- so don't come whining to me about going to hells fires.'
My anglo saxon brothers, come to our church and donate heartily. We have a goal, which prayer assures me we will reach, of moving up out of the tool shed in the backyard and getting ourselves the largest cathedral in the blessed states of america. Lord Buff Jesus With Mountainous Balls, be praised!!
You can be a part of this dream, too. Go ahead and ask god, "God, do you want me to do a great work for you, or just continue on my way to hell?'
If you don't want to go to those fiery pits, than I guess you better send all of your worldly possessions to The Tuttle Electric Bill Relief Fund. Just make the checks payable to Gilford Tuttle, White Man of God Who Burps (yes, this is my legal name -- and no, I did not change it, my parents were just exceptionally clear headed people, okay... and as far the 'burp' part of my name -- dad believed that the Everywhere Blonde Buff Jesus only heard prayers that were burped, which was true at the time, but has since changed due to further revelations to include humming and thumb twiddling . . . only the Jesusmeister can do all three at once, by the way, without dying... well he might die and get resurrected so quick that you wouldn't notice -- there is no way to tell, is there? This is the first thing I am going to ask god about ... well, I guess it's the only unanwered question in m whole univers? Wow.. I am almost too close to being perfect).
Once more, I just wish I could be you, out there reading my luscious, perfect words for the first time and being struck by blonde buff jesus on the arm in a friendly, manly manner. My only regret with being so near to god, and thus godlike, is that I can't gaze upon myself in sheer wonder like I'm sure you can't help but do after reading these words... in fact, I am adding this email to the bible. Yes, it is sacred now.
Go and sin no more, you damn whores.
GILFORD TUTTLE, WHTE CHRISTAIN SUPREMICIST AND PROUD BURPER
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