dragging the sickness out into the light

Don't you hate it when you read about some celebrity going in and out of treatment over some horrifying addiction? It is like, you know, sooner or later this person is going to use something again. They make all sorts of declerations of this and that about being sober, or perhaps just drinking booze and smoking and downing coffee but staying away from the hard stuff... When My Man Mitchum came out of treatment, a reporter asked him how he had changed.... Mitchum, who was being interviewed in a bar as he put away ungodly amounts of scotch, said something like, "Since I went through treatment, I'm drinking everything on the rocks." (this quote is much funnier than what I have written here). I keep telling you kids to stick to the weed, but I didn't listen so why should I expect you to?Not that I want to make light of going through treatment. There are few hells I understand better than the one of addiction. Everything I believe on the topic was written in scars. I can be pretty bad about this kind of shit if I let myself, because I just can't seem to get myself to moderate when it comes to drinking. I gave it up years ago because of all the mayhem this kind of pattern can have on ones life. I couldn't function drinking. Some can, but me... no, some big fuck up always happened that made me too ashamed to drink. I really could not control who I slept with, or what kind of mischeif I might decide was cool while drunk. Including fighting, which is a very ugly trait. I got my ass kicked exactly once in my life, and that was when I was eighteen and whisky drunk. I was so foolish that the shame rides down my nerves to this day and slams into my stomach with a big splash of acid...Regrets? I want to be a man who has regrets, because everyone should have a few. Everyone. Except machines and psycho paths. Prisons are filled with people who have no regrets for the most heinous behavior, yet I get floored by the horrible emotions that fill me if I am late walking my dog. Damn is the world a subjective place...Anyways, the treatment thing... I just wanted to say that I did it myself, and it was such a big mind fuck ... but I don't know if I would be who I am today, for good or bad, if I had not gone through treatment. I learned a lot of reasons to quit drinking... problem was, they involved invisible freinds, and that illusion doesn't stick with me, no matter how much brain washing I and others subject it to.Now I smoke enough weed to qualify as some kind of rastafarian. I don't have the hair, and can't spell the religion, but there is some kind of loophole in the law that allows people to take drugs for relgious purposes. I couldn't deal with that hair... just having long hair is a nightmarish chore... so I really do need to start a religion.hey, I just had a vision from the all powerful alarm clock that I worship... I must start a new religion, so people can finally truly know that their bad habits will still be allowed in heaven. Attaining the bliss of this religion requires sending me money, which I will then send the 'spirit' of up to heaven... this evil money you send buys you different things in heaven. Like, you want a flat screen in heaven? We are talking all eternity here, so you probably want something with an exceptional picture, right? Send me just ten dollars, and our god will give you a tv set so big that it looks like a drive in, and you can watch anything you want while floating on a cloud. You're probably wondering what kind of snacks are in heaven... well, none, unless you buy them now. Sorry, I don't write the revelations, I just scribe them for the big guy-gal... So, join my religion to learn about Fritos as big a truck, oreos with so much filling coming out the sides that you can ski on them... I have been ordered to call this true, true heaven The Realm of Jolly Fat Fuckers. All we'll do is eat and fuck -- and don't worry, we'll have no boring virgins in this heaven -- no, these women know how to do it all!!! And the women in this heaven actually like to give guys head. M. doesn't believe this last part. Damn her.


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