fooling ourselves again and again and again and... stop. take control.


My mother in law is 76 and moves in an elephantine manner, hobbles slowly around with her cane. Obese and a bit lazy and bored with life, she is now, according to her son, getting into his religion and having 'out of body' experiences. This is funny because I was once all into trying this stuff.
I broke my back when I was seventeen, and spent a year paralyzed, and I had a freind whose father was a parapsychologist, and he brought me all these books on out of body expereinces, etc.. claimed he could do it. He took me and brother through a reincarnationt therapy session where we both had vivid dreams of being Native Americans...

This guy turned out to be scizophrenic. Disabled and everything. Amazing. Another guy I knew who said he could do this died young, in the army. Both of these two had mothers who died when they were young? I don't know.
I had this book about it and was paralyzed so I tried al lthe methods and twice, it seemed, my spirit flew up out of my body. I only flew around the room I was in, but it was as if my eyes were suddenly by the ceiling, then whoosing past the wall.
I have also been in buddhist meditations where group hypnosis was used to make us all have vivd dreams of gods and demons -- used in a Jungain manner to fight mental demons, I guess was the point, though to me it was all just relaxing fun. But, the point is, all of this may or may not exist, but my ability to fool myself about this sort of thing definatley does exist.

Now I look at all of that time as wasted. I should have just been concentrating on my art and education. Those are the times that led me to the places I like best.




Next up, my sex club experiences, and orgies and stuff....