An attempt by the Bush Family, and various friends of the president, to force the recently constantly drunk W into a treatment program, ended in gunfire today when the W called in troops and had the entire facility placed under arrest.
After a breif gun battle between the ex-presidents body guards and 300 national guard troops, the Bush family formally surrendered and asked that they be treated with the accords of the Geneva Convention, which caused the thinking world to collectively snicker and mutter, "oh, yea right... "
The W left the treatment center smiling today, saw the gathered press and looked distressed."Hey, this wasn't about me, man? I'm cool. Uh, they were planning a coup. Sadly enough, we have pictures of that therapist in there with Bin Laden, and the others... well, I'm going to have to have their asses kicked, but they're family, so .... Hell, I'll banish em. I can banish people, right? Thank god. "
When asked about his inability to draw a sober breath, W first looked embarrassed, then angry, and finally kind of sad as he answered, "MAn, I drink to think, okay? Thinking hurts, but man, if that's what Bono says it takes to make my band work, well... rock n roll ain't all babes and doobies, you know? Not that I'm saying it shouldn't be... I'll probably pass a law about this? You know, get that thinking shit out of music. Somebody take a goddamn note and remind me about this later." s