Speaking to reporters while standing in the door of the white house waiting for a late pizza delivery, the W told a shocked and confused electorate, "You know, man, Midgets are elves... I wish to god they would just accept this!!! They should all be dressed up in silly costumes and employed by the state to dance around like jesters!!! Like they do in civilized countries!! This isn't cruel either. They would love these jobs. Getting drunk and dancing around is right up there with sex, for god's sake. I mean, can you imagine being paid to dance around all day? I sure can. But, no, here we have these stiffling Equal Rights Laws.... can you imagine how much better the world would be with drunken elves dancing around on the street corners? The world would finally be like the inside of my head . . . "
The W then presented a bill to the journalists aimed at demolishing all Equal Rights Law, saying, "I was going to have to go give some speech, but since you pack of weasels are here, go on and take this down to the senate for me."
When asked why he was demolishing equal rights, the W snapped, "You really don't know shit, do you? You think I want you peasents to have the same rights as me, we're on two different damn planets, okay? I'm a rock star, man."