Democratic senators and congresspeople all disappeared from Washington last night. Police reports say they were first noticed missing a couple hours after the bars closed.
The president was asked about the phenomena, as he came into the White House early this morning on a brand new harley davidson, wearing camoflouge fatigues stained with what the w told the press corp was ' . . . . ketchup, or some shit."
When asked about the missing democrats, W responded, "Oh, can't you people just let anything go. I mean, why do you have to be so negative. Tell some of the good stuff sometime. So, what the hell else do you want?"When the w was again asked about the missing democrats, he answered, "Oh, them, yeah... they left a note ... uh, saying they were too cowardly to go on and were just going to all go live . . . uh . .. under the sea. You guys get the flyers on my new band? Cool. Rock on. Gotta crash now, dudes."
The W then roared off onto the white house lawn where he spun a few wheelies for the press before going inside to 'crash.'
The new White House Press Secretary, Howard Stern, came out and addressed the press corp later, in an evident attempt to try to shade the presidents statement by saying, "The W. meant to say that they left a note saying they were leaving forever because they were in touch with their cowardly sides or some such pseudo feminist crap... shit... excrement.... fucking squirrels, uh, with rooster heads... man, I can say anything now."
Family members of missing democratic senators and congresspeople were frantic this afternoon, calling all the sleazy motels, race tracks and strip clubs in Washington trying to locate their lost relatives.
Republican response has ranged from Dick Cheney's continued vow to 'say nothing sensical to the press,' (a move the vp considers part of his overall 'plausible denial philosophy,' which he outlined in an article in Readers Digest last year),' to Speaker Tom Delay's evident surprise when he was told. The speaker seemed stunned by the news and responded by mumbling, "Oh, shit... that was today? I mean, well, that's something else, isn't it?"