THE RELIGIOUS PSYCHO KILLERS SHIT LIST

Welcome to the mind of John Scott Ridgway. Beware falling rocks and angels.

YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER WHAT THE INTELLIGENCE COMMUNITY CALLS THE 'WITTING.' The implication being anyone who doesn't know what is truly going on in the world is 'unwitting.' I have an academic/artist background that includes three books, oil painting, radio and tv... though mostly, I write on the web and give the words away. Better read than dead, I always say. I studyied military intelligence, cults, english, history, and philosophy, among other subjects that I took in my quest to have something to say in my work.... I am proud to say I studied under peaceful warriors, like Dr. Danial Stern, an icon in the sixties who hung out with the panthers, dealt with agent provocaters, spies.

A BASTOON OF TRUE FREEDOM IN A WORLD CONDENSED INTO POLITE CONVERSATIONS. I HAVE SITES ALL OVER THE PLACE THAT YOU CAN SEE MY OTHER SIDES WITHIN.
http://theelvesattic.blogspot.com/
http://wakingupjesus.blogspot.com/

Find me on facebook at john scott ridgway... there are two of me... one is active. I trust you can figure it out. Doing a lot of stuff there. Basically showing my daily trek throughout the dozens of papers I peruse while waiting in some bush, pr parked somewhere, you know, out stalking, or whatever, you know... hunting humans, maybe... but not in an illegal way. Really.

I urge you to try out my new Jesus, blog, too. He is nothing like you have read before. This creature from the planet Heaven is mistaken for an alien, a cult leader, a terrorist.... Military intelligence agents and secrets are thrown all over in this blog.... please spread my writing whereever forfree... The book is not just for Christians. I am almost an agnostic... I, Christ... will lead you to heaven, or at least give you a lot to think about. After years of getting mostly a's in college, I can at least parrot a few things you have not heard.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

MORE EVIDENCE THAT I REALLY, REALLY SUCK.

mary ann



Her pain is a pressure in my chest, makes me breath faster
I am the one who causes this grieving in my lovers
Hurting most the ones I love most

What ape inside is this that comes out and embarrasses me?
How do I ever act like that?

These kind of thoughts come later
When the improv is over and I am left alone, stripped of character
Naked before her
A child
No
But something less than the mythic man
The well argued reasons are many and the excuses aplenty
Emotion overpowers reason, slashes that wenches throat and leaves her dead.


I am left with her hurting at my behest
She is caught in the problems of my failures like a fly in an old, unused spider’s web
She can fight here way out of this web, easily fly away.

Hurting the one I wish to bring only laughter and warmth and joy

If I could change the world…. But I can’t.
If I could change myself… But I can’t… though I can adjust
Perhaps enough for her love to ease my mind again

How does the story go from ‘I knew the first time I saw you’ to ‘I can’t anymore.’
that path where tender love and pits of punji sticks are arbitrarily dispersed


I don’t know don’t know don’t know what it was but I want to take it all back
Shift that and this incident into the corners of our minds
Look elsewhere, see ourselves as lovers again,
Art types taking on the world, suffering for our differences,
A bomb went off in New York and she lost her job in Chicago
And then there is me
Veering from the sane man
To a foolish boof,
Sometimes so diminished I use the shield of a braggart
Embarrass her.
Lie to her to keep the peace and then find she didn’t want that at all but the peace is somehow shattered by my telling her anyway… as I knew it would be

Love above and beyond all the petty
Keeps me deep in gray until she accepts me again

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